Alexis on the Sexes: Gag reflex

Q: While having anal sex, I felt extremely wet without the man coming. Was this a natural lubricant, or was the sexual stimulation inducing bowel movement?

-- Katie

A: There is natural lubrication in the anus, but it's not consistent or long-lasting enough for sex.

The anal canal regularly produces mucus and, with an empty bowel and intense sexual stimulation, can produce enough to create the wet feeling you describe.

The purpose of anal mucus is to provide easy passage for poop. Since there's usually not enough of this mucus to allow for smooth entry through the back door, always use a healthy dollop of your favorite store-bought lube when having anal sex. This will help protect against tearing and irritation of the anus' delicate mucus membranes.

Since the membranes are also extremely porous, you should either use condoms to protect against the transmission of an STD, or get tested to ensure both you and your partner are STD-free.

Q: My current lover is uncircumcised, and I think this aspect of his anatomy is having a negative impact on our sexual relationship. He tends to ejaculate quickly without much effort, and his semen always has an incredibly foul scent which lasts long after the sex has ended. None of my past partners had these problems, and they were all snipped. Is this just a coincidence or is his foreskin the problem? If so, can it be fixed?

A: First things first: Let's banish the myth that uncircumcised men come quicker than guys who have been cut, because it's just not true. Personal experience, chats with friends who were circumcised as adults, and a lot of research after receiving your question all lead to my conclusion that a little skin turtleneck does not hinder a guy's ability to give a lasting performance in the sack.

Your partner's premature ejaculation could be caused by physical conditions such as prostatis (inflammation of the prostate), neurological disorders such as multiple sclerosis, or the body's reaction to certain medications. However, most men can rule out these factors, fingering the excitable male psyche as the culprit.

Check out my Dec. 6 column on delaying the male orgasm, and talk to your boyfriend about adding those simple yet effective techniques to your nightly repertoire. And I do mean nightly, because frequent sexual contact usually leads to higher sexual endurance. Practice makes perfect, right?

As for the semen odor problem, it's likely a hygiene issue. If your lover isn't thoroughly washing and drying under the foreskin when he bathes or after sex, the whole area can become a bacterial breeding ground. Trapped smegma, dried semen and dried vaginal secretions will all create a very smelly environment. The next time he hits the shower, hop in and soap him up. While you're at it, let him know it's important that he keeps extra-clean, since it potentially affects your health, too. Heaven forbid all sexual activity ceases for two weeks while one or both of you clears a course of triple-strength antibiotics.

A bad diet can also be to blame, and a lot of bachelors I know have some pretty questionable nutrition habits. You excrete what you eat. Fresh fruits, juices and herbal teas will help improve ejaculate odor (and taste!), while fish, meat and nicotine can be cause to light a match and open a window.