Alexis on the Sexes: As you wish

Q: It's a classic tale: An adorable and hilarious female happy-hour buddy of mine suddenly, recently transformed one night into someone whose naked body I can etch into glass from memory. As cinematically idyllic as it was, like every story of wuv-twu-wuv, there are complications.

We've both just endured rather nasty breakups. Furthermore, I'm being shipped off for work to a prohibitively distant and unwelcoming environment for a couple of months this summer. In other words, it's the least opportune time to start something that might've been wonderful.

So, what would you recommend? Put the chill on everything until fall and take measure of things then? Allow ourselves to be reduced to casual-sex buddies until I leave and then hope for the best? Find a happy medium, preferably where I still get to see her naked once in a while?

-- BEGUILED AND HASTENED

A: It's a classic mistake: Boy knows he's getting shipped out of town, but needs to hook up one last time before he leaves, because God forbid he might not get laid abroad. Boy bangs girl within closest reach, figuring that whatever happens, he'll be out of town soon to avoid any ensuing drama.

But wait, what's this? Boy is actually into girl? What a new twist on a classic tale. Congratulations on not being a total dick after bagging your easy lay, but my B.S. meter is still going off over here.

If it really is wuv-twu-wuv ("Princess Bride" reference appreciated, by the way), then don't you only have one option? To maintain constant contact while you're gone with the promise to pick up everything right where you left off as soon as you get home? Any decent Princess Buttercup will wait for her Westley for a few months, even a few years, as long as a promise is made to return to her. Your situation may be slightly less sorry, what with the absence of pirates or evil princes and the advent of Skype video chat, but certainly no less romantic if it's the real deal.

It's totally normal to need a little coddling after a relationship ends, and Buttercup was there to build you up. And you were probably feeling extra vulnerable because you're about to leave home for an extended duration. I'm sure even Vizzini got homesick once in a while.

If any of this is hitting you where it hurts, then it's time to nip this budding romance before it blooms. Go have fun on your trip. Party like a rock star in a foreign country and make out with girls possessing poor English skills. And apologize to Buttercup for starting something up with her right before leaving town. Explain that you couldn't resist her, but you weren't thinking about the consequences. She'll appreciate that you're taking the blame, and that helps soothe any sad feelings. A sincere apology will also help keep the door open while you're gone, should you both want to resume the knee-boot knocking when you get home.

The idea of having a lady in wait must be a powerful aphrodisiac, but what if she's not the princess you're imagining? The hormone high of a new relationship lasts about three months, and most of that time will be spent away from each other. You don't want to sacrifice your summer freedom by holding out for what could be an anticlimactic, no-magicians, no-white horses, no-dweam-wifin-a-dweam kind of ending.