My Spanish is so crummy, I mixed up my esperando and espero, then horas and años, during a conversation with my Paraguayan hotel clerk.
Turns out, I told him that I was hoping (not waiting) for my friend to come in five years (not 5 p.m.).
We all shared a hearty laugh and I soon found myself on a short, early evening flight from Asunción to Ciudad del Este, Paraguay's City of the East — a commercial armpit near a huge dam, the triple border with Argentina and Brazil but, more important, our jumping-off point to perhaps the most jaw-dropping venue on the planet: Iguazú Falls.
The roaring curtains of water — named in 2011 as one of the world's Seven Wonders of Nature — hypnotize visitors with their sheer drops and deafening power.
Niagara Falls, by comparison, is a leaky faucet. Really. With 275 distinctive cascades — including the Gargantua del Diablo, or the Devil's Throat — Iguazú Falls drop 260 feet at some points. They are a third taller and four times wider than Niagara. That's why Eleanor Roosevelt, upon her first gaze at the cataracts, reportedly uttered with a sigh, "Poor Niagara."
Staged on a fishhook-shaped series of cliffs and islands, Iguazú Falls cannot merely be accessed via a series of hiking trails and steel catwalks putting visitors literally in the mist. For another $60, you can splurge for the Gran Aventura, or Great Adventure, which bushwhacks you through the butterflies, exotic birds and spider webs of the jungle on a massive all-terrain, open-air tank, before handing out waterproof bags for a drenching voyage on open-deck boats that take you right under the icy, crashing falls.
But like any wonder of the world, the falls attract tourists by the boat, ferry, plane and trainload. On the day we visited, local Argentines got in free, joining gaggles from Denmark, Japan and everywhere in between who poured into the national park — cameras cocked. Visitors can actually rent ladders, so elbowing for optimal views isn't always enough. You should pack a periscope.
Thankfully, we found a respite from the chaos at an old tea plantation transformed into a 14-room luxury hotel in the jungle about an hour away from the falls. And in the process, I learned the true meaning of my new favorite Spanish word: tranquilo.