THE BUZZ The NBA released its 2011-12 schedule Tuesday, exhibiting as much wishful thinking as a Twins fan holding up a "Marry me, Mauer" sign at a game.

REMOTE PATROL You could stay inside and watch the Cardinals vs. Mets (6 p.m., ESPN) or you could go outside and measure your sweat in liters.

Click pick Deadspin.com dug out YouTube footage of a hockey brawl featuring a duel between goalies Chris Osgood (who is retiring) and Patrick Roy.

STAR GAZING Shaquille O'Neal created controversy, for some reason, by saying what everyone knows is true: The Miami Heat has a "Big Two," not a "Big Three."

FAST FACT In the wake of the death of fan Shannon Stone at a game earlier this month, the Rangers are raising the height of the front row rails at their ballpark.