Rick Nelson and Claude Peck dispense unasked-for advice about clothing, etiquette, culture, relationships, grooming and more.
CP: While I don’t wish to see less of actor Bradley Cooper in 2014 …
RN: You or anyone else in the U.S. of A.
CP: I would like him, and all guys who sport facial hair, to think about shaving their neck hair. In front, it’s an easy DIY chore. In back, it’s something to ask of a loved one or a trusted stylist. Stubble that races past your chin and disappears into your collar? Not so much.
RN: I’m hoping that 2014 is the last full year that our eyes will lay upon the god-awful early-1990s edition of Nicollet Mall. New York City’s James Corner Field Operations can’t remake Minnesota’s Main Street fast enough.
CP: Are you sure you are willing to give up complaining about the mall?
RN: Who said anything about forfeiting my constitutionally guaranteed right to bellyache? If we could put the kibosh on movie-theater talkers, texters and excessive popcorn-rumblers, I’ll be a happy man in 2014.
CP: I would like to see fewer drivers who simply cannot be bothered to use their turn indicator.
RN: Or an ever-shrinking number of drivers who choose to camp out in the left lane as they self-righteously program the speed limit into their cruise control.
CP: Less about the Minnesota Orchestra disaster. Time to settle up, folks. Jeez, as we sometimes say here.
RN: Amen to that. I’d also like to see a dramatic decrease in the number of unshoveled sidewalks. When you get to be my age, hip breakage is a real and ever-growing concern.
CP: Less spitting.
RN: That finishing school you call Macalester really finished you off, didn’t it? Although on a related note, my nose would love to experience fewer rank scents from the unwashed workout apparel worn by my fellow gym enthusiasts.
CP: Less spam.
RN: I’d love to see the dreaded restaurant server query that is “Are you still working on that?” driven into extinction.
CP: The whole cutesy hashtag thing could be severely curtailed, #andIwouldntcare.
RN: #Youkillme. Here’s hoping for fewer social-media outlets, not more. By the time I get around to Instagram or Reddit, they’ll have gone the way of Myspace.
CP: Chop, chop, Sugar. You shoulda been on Instagram years ago. Your burger pix alone would take you to the moon. Your many fans deserve no less.
RN: If you’re referring to my mother, she’s rarely online.
Twitter: @claudepeck and @RickNelsonStrib