Please note the comparisons and contrasts between Vince Young's recent legal situation and the lyrics to "Sequestered in Memphis" by The Hold Steady (and yes, we know the Titans play in Nashville, not Memphis. But they're both in Tennessee. We're going with it):

Vince YoungVince Young has apologized to the Tennessee Titans, his teammates, his family and fans for his role in a fight at a Dallas strip club. The quarterback said Monday he made a mistake being at the club. Young, in Dallas for a Sunday autograph session, said he was headed back to his hotel when he decided to go out on the town with a friend. They went to Club Onyx, which Young said was a bad decision. “Just made a mistake, made a mistake even being there and let that guy provoke me into doing what I did,” Young told reporters after a Titans offseason practice. “Fell into his hands, what he wanted me to do so he could do what he’s doing now. At the same time, let my lawyers take care of it.” Surveillance video footage released by Dallas police show the quarterback and several people talking in a small room before Young attacked someone in the room. Young left before police arrived, but he spoke with officers around 2:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon. He received a misdemeanor assault citation, and the NFL is looking into the case. Young returned to Nashville in time to pinch-hit late in coach Jeff Fisher’s charity softball game, and he was back on the field Monday as the Titans begin to wrap up its offseason with six team sessions ending June 25.

The Hold Steady (Sequestered in Memphis):

It started when we were dancing
It got heavy when we got to the bathroom
We didn't go back to her place
We went to some place where she cat-sits

She said, "I know I look tired
But every thing's fried here in Memphis"

Now they want to know exactly which bathroom
Dude, does it make any difference? It can't be important
Yeah, sure I'll tell my story again

In bar light she looked alright
In daylight she looked desperate
That's alright, I was desperate too
I'm getting pretty sick of this interview

Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis
Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis

I think she drove a new Mustang
I guess it might be a rental
I remember she had satellite radio
I guess she seemed a bit nervous, do you think I'm that stupid?

Oh what the hell, I'll tell the story again

In bar light she looked alright
In daylight she looked desperate
That's alright, I was desperate too
I'm getting pretty sick of this interview

Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis
Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis

Your thoughts on the believability of each story and who you are most likely to forgive in the comments. Stu, a more thorough breakdown is also encouraged.

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So, um, Texas isn't going anywhere now?

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Tuesday (RandBall Feud) edition: Wha' Happened?