He has endured weeks lost in the Kalahari Desert and the Arctic Tundra, but can “Survivorman" star Les Stroud survive one night at Mill City Nights in Minneapolis?
In what has to be the oddest booking at the downtown Warehouse District nightclub since the “John Waters Christmas” performance, the enduring star of the Discovery Channel series will appear there Aug. 1 as part of a “Survivorman Live” tour. The live appearance will reportedly include stories and footage from his TV show adventures as well as a musical performance. Anyone who watches the show knows ol’ Les plays a mean harmonica, in addition to his remarkable talent for eating grubs and warding off deadly snakes and doing all the other things it takes to survive many days in the wilderness legitimately all on his own -- unlike that melodramatic prettyboy Bear Grylls, who travels with a camera crew and probably a portable Jacuzzi tub.
The details of Stroud's live show are still a little vague, so we’re hoping it might involve some kind of self-inflicted survival adventure while he’s in Minneapolis. Here are five ideas for survival tests we came up with based around the club’s location:
1. Bring Phish in to recreate Mill City Night’s 2012 opening-night concert with Jane’s Addiction, when the venue was called the Brick and didn’t quite have its capacity issues worked out. Sure, a little overcrowding didn’t kill anyone when the band only plays 90 minutes, but how about a four-hour show?
2. Make him roam the Warehouse District over a weekend and survive on the area’s most abundant natural resource for his only nourishment: frat-boy vomit.
3. Send him without water or peanuts into Target Field, which should really be a vast, vacant wilderness in August if the Twins stay in last place.
4. Hook him up with Mark Mallman for another 78-hour Marathon concert. We have no doubt Stroud could stand the test. The question is: Could Mallman or anyone not named John Popper endure harmonica solos for that long?
5. Give him a Metro Transit schedule to go find his next meal, but tell him he can only board a bus or train that shows up on time.