Let Stu entertain you wildly on this mid-July Friday. Stu?


The Huntdown
Name: Terry Felton
Claim to Fame, Minnesota: for all the warranted agitation over the current state of the Twins’ pitching, those who suffered through the post-Carew, pre-Puckett years know it’s been much worse. This is perhaps best exemplified by Terry Felton, who maintains the major league record for most losses to start a career AND the record for most losses in a career without a win with a mark of 0-16. As any sabermetrician worth his or her salt will tell you, won-loss records can be misleading, and that is the case here. The Twins actually won 6 of the 55 games he appeared in during his career, but he failed to get the decision in any of them. Meanwhile, Tony Fiore won 10 games one season with a [redacted] palm ball. I saw both pitch, and I can tell you with conviction that Fiore wasn’t that much better than Felton. However, I also think Spin Magazine wasn’t completely misguided in naming Teenage Fanclub’s Bandwagonesque the best album of 1991 instead of Nirvana’s Nevermind, so caveat emptor. (Proprietor note: It makes us a little weepy looking back on all that great music).
Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: Wikipedia says he was the winningest pitcher in Toledo Mud Hens history until Shane Loux claimed that title in 2004. Corporal Maxwell Klinger salutes the both of them.
Where He Is Now: Captain Terry Felton is now the Night Supervisor for the East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office (scroll down a bit). Anyone planning to make smart remarks about him in the comments should note this from the link: “He has also been involved on the Swat Team as a sniper for several years.” 
Is He on Twitter? No, but the Sheriff’s Office is.
Glorious Randomness #1: Hey, FSN? For your next rain delay, a special about Tony Fiore’s 2002 season would be a capital idea. I’m still not entirely convinced this happened, much like Lew Ford’s two AL MVP votes in 2004.
Glorious Randomness #2: the Strib has the fantastic game story for Felton’s 16th and final loss here. Of note:
·         The Twins had an early 7-1 lead against the Royals, Felton left the game with the Twins still ahead, and, as was the style in the day, Ron [redacted] Davis came in and blew everything up. The final score: Kansas City 18, Minnesota 7. 
·         Davis’ response to a reporter after the game was over: “Drop dead.”
·         Dan Quisenberry, the Royals’ legendary closer, threw three innings in relief to get the save in this game. Baseball was different then, if the Royals being really good didn’t already tip you to that.

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