CRAIG'S LIST

One of the biggest complaints among players when it comes to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is they believe he's just making things up on the fly as he plays judge, jury, executioner and re-executioner, as Adrian Peterson will find out when he walks into his "appeal" and learns that Roger consulted long and hard with Roger and agreed with Roger's earlier decision, not to mention Roger's choice to let a neutral party eventually tell Peterson what Roger already told him. We aren't taking sides, but we heard about some other rulings the commissioner might make this weekend:

GB -8½ at MIN

Packers 37, Vikings 21

Under statute No. 1.234, which governs competitive balance, Christian Ponder will be suspended for three hours on Sunday.

CLE +3 at ATL

Browns by 7

With the Falcons in first place and playoff expansion looming, the "Goodell Rule" will ban teams from firing head coaches who go 5-11 and make the playoffs.

TEN +11 at PHI

Eagles by 14

Unable to learn anything about either team, Goodell has asked TMZ if anything's up.

DET +7 at NE

Patriots by 10

Seven years after Spygate, the Goodell Papers declare there was no coverup. Asked for an independent investigation, Roger said he'd talk to Roger about it.

JAX +14 at IND

Colts by 17

It's not that Roger is impatient, but he has ordered that we now call them the London Jaguars.

CIN +1½ at HOU

Texans by 3

Rule 4.356 declares that all future misdemeanors in the Houston area are punishable in part by groveling before Goodell. Those refusing to do so are suspended until April 15.

TB +6 at CHI

Buccaneers by 3

At 2-8, Lovie Smith will be fired and/or win the NFC South.

ARI +7 at SEA

Seahawks by 8

Answer: Drew Stanton, Super Bowl. Question: Four words you never thought you'd see in the same sentence.

STL +5 at SD

Chargers by 7

Goodell will be in San Diego to throw out the first Los Angeles relocation threat.

MIA +7 at DEN

Broncos by 14

Rule 3.456 states that Peyton Manning is not to be beaten again, pending a background check with TMZ.

WAS +9 at SF

49ers by 7

The nickname has been changed! Half the player he used to be, RG III will now go by RG 1½.

NYJ +3 vs. BUF

Bills by 4

Mother Nature has been suspended until April 15. Rog warned you at the Super Bowl, lady.

BAL +3½ at NO

Saints by 7

Rule 5.123 states that if Ray Rice is reinstated and messes up again, the next guy who messes up will be buried next to Jimmy Hoffa in Giants Stadium.

UPSET SPECIAL

DAL -3½ at NYG

Giants 27, Cowboys 21

Showing great concern for player safety, Goodell will offer to help reattach any Cowboy limbs in time for Thursday's game.

Record

Last week/overall: 6-7/ 89-60-1

vs. spread: 6-7/ 73-77

Vikings picks: 7-3

Upset specials: 4-7