Souhan: Could Ponder's ribs be a takeout order by Frazier? We wonder …

  • Article by: JIM SOUHAN , Star Tribune
  • Updated: September 26, 2013 - 5:49 AM

– Christian Ponder played an entire NFL game Sunday, went through meetings and treatment on Monday, flew all night to London, played with schoolkids at Wembley Stadium on Tuesday, and represented the Vikings at a news conference on Wednesday.

Sometime in that 72-hour window, the Vikings determined that Ponder has sore ribs. Here’s how the conversation might have gone:

Vikings coach Leslie Frazier: “How are those ribs, Christian?”

Ponder: “Fine. Why?”

Frazier: “We think you took a hit there in the first quarter. We think that affected your play. In fact, you got hit so hard it may have affected you retroactively. We think it explains the way you played in Detroit.”

Ponder: “I’m ready to play, coach.”

Frazier: “I’ve already talked with our doctors. They’re going to examine you now, and they’re going to find that your most important rib — let’s call it the ‘throwing rib’ — is bruised so badly that it’s a wonder you’re still upright. I’m prescribing one Sunday of rest.”

Ponder: “But we’re in England. We’re promoting the NFL. The most exciting play in football might be the interception return for a touchdown. You really think you have someone who can fill my shoes?”

Frazier: “We’ve been studying tape of Matt Cassel. He can throw a pick-six with the best of them. We’ll be fine. Now, really, Christian, I can tell you feel faint. Why don’t you lay down for a week or two? Remember, you have a team credit card, so if we leave you behind in England, you can always book a slow boat ’round the cape.”

Ponder: “I thought I was the starting quarterback.”

Frazier: “You are. We spent a first-round draft pick on you. We’ll always love you. We just think it’s time we saw other people. It’s not you. It’s us.”

Ponder: “Well, that’s reassuring. I thought you were taking my job away from me.”

Frazier: “Not at all. But seeing as how we’re going to place you in traction on Sunday, we really do need to get Matt ready to play. We still want you to talk to the British media all week. You’re good at that. You never get down, even after you crush the dreams of millions of Vikings fans. We love that about you. You know how to read a script — you have to get better, the whole team has to get better, we have to get a win. Excellent work. We feel you’re an excellent representative for our organization.

‘‘Kind of like Ragnar.”

Ponder: “Well, it would be nice to take a couple of Sundays off. I can handle Viking Nation booing me. England Nation booing me would be tough.”

Frazier: “You’re catching on, Christian. No, don’t laugh. Remember? That’s when your rib hurts the most.”

Ponder: “I did feel a twinge.”

Frazier: “Yes, you did. Now, remember, we don’t know how Cassel is going to play, and our negotiations with Brett Favre are not going well. He wants more money from the Wilfs than that New Jersey judge. We may need you on Sunday. We may need you after the bye. So I’m going to give you a special pill to take in case we need to put you in the game.”

Ponder: “Looks like a Tic-Tac.”

Frazier: “Amazing how far the pharmaceutical companies have come, isn’t it?”

Ponder: “This is really going to work?”

Frazier: “We’ve tried everything else. We gave you the best athlete in football. We signed a star wide receiver. We drafted another talented receiver. We told you we loved you. We stuck with you during your slump last year. We wanted you to take us to the playoffs again this year. Then we play Detroit and you act like you’ve never seen a blitz. Or a cornerback. That’s when you hurt your rib.”

Ponder: “I thought I hurt it against Cleveland?”

Frazier: “Maybe. These rib injuries are very mysterious.”

 

Jim Souhan can be heard weekdays at noon and Sundays from 10 to noon on 1500 ESPN. His Twitter name is @SouhanStrib. • jsouhan@startribune.com

  • get related content delivered to your inbox

  • manage my email subscriptions

ADVERTISEMENT

Tennessee 7:25 PM
Jacksonville
Philadelphia 12/20/14 3:30 PM
Washington
San Diego 12/20/14 7:25 PM
San Francisco
Minnesota 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Miami
Baltimore 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Houston
Detroit 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Chicago
Cleveland 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Carolina
Atlanta 12/21/14 12:00 PM
New Orleans
Green Bay 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Tampa Bay
Kansas City 12/21/14 12:00 PM
Pittsburgh
New England 12/21/14 12:00 PM
NY Jets
NY Giants 12/21/14 3:05 PM
St. Louis
Buffalo 12/21/14 3:25 PM
Oakland
Indianapolis 12/21/14 3:25 PM
Dallas
Seattle 12/21/14 7:30 PM
Arizona
Denver 12/22/14 7:30 PM
Cincinnati
New York 7:00 PM
Chicago
New Orleans 7:30 PM
Houston
Milwaukee 9:00 PM
Sacramento
Oklahoma City 9:30 PM
Golden State
Florida 6:00 PM
Philadelphia
Colorado 6:00 PM
Pittsburgh
Toronto 6:00 PM
Carolina
Washington 6:00 PM
Columbus
Anaheim 6:30 PM
Montreal
St. Louis 9:30 PM
Los Angeles
Edmonton 9:30 PM
San Jose
St Thomas (TX) 2 1st Half 18:21
Rice 4
Stony Brook 6:00 PM
Canisius
Temple 6:00 PM
Delaware
FIU 6:00 PM
Long Island
Lehigh 6:00 PM
Quinnipiac
South Alabama 6:00 PM
Richmond
Seton Hall 6:00 PM
South Florida
Ga Southern 6:00 PM
Stetson
Yale 6:00 PM
Vermont
Cleveland State 6:00 PM
Virginia
Wright State 6:00 PM
Western Carolina
Nicholls 6:30 PM
Louisiana Tech
Morgan State 6:30 PM
Rider
Idaho State 6:30 PM
South Dakota St
Oakland City 7:00 PM
Austin Peay
Eureka 7:00 PM
Bradley
Appalachian St 7:00 PM
Charlotte
Connecticut 7:00 PM
Duke
Southern Miss 7:00 PM
Jackson State
Coastal Carolina 7:00 PM
Ole Miss
Montana State 7:30 PM
South Dakota
LSU 8:00 PM
UAB
Ohio 8:05 PM
Evansville
CS-Dominguez 9:00 PM
Cal State Fullerton
Walla Walla 9:00 PM
Idaho
DePaul 9:00 PM
Oregon State
Nevada 9:00 PM
Pacific
Portland State 9:00 PM
San Francisco
CS-Bakersfield 9:05 PM
Utah State
Nevada 12/20/14 10:00 AM
Louisiana
Utah State 12/20/14 1:20 PM
Texas-El Paso
(23) Utah 12/20/14 2:30 PM
Colorado State
Western Mich 12/20/14 4:45 PM
Air Force
South Alabama 12/20/14 8:15 PM
Bowling Green
BYU 12/22/14 1:00 PM
Memphis
Marshall 12/23/14 5:00 PM
Northern Ill
Navy 12/23/14 8:30 PM
San Diego St
Central Mich 12/24/14 11:00 AM
Western Ky
Fresno State 12/24/14 7:00 PM
Rice
Niagara 64 2nd Half 3:33
Cleveland State 52
High Point 51 2nd Half 8:53
VA Commonwealth 59
Towson 32 2nd Half 15:01
Wake Forest 50
Presbyterian 18 1st Half 5:26
Charlotte 18
Chicago State 18 1st Half 2:42
Bradley 21
Northwestern Coll 12 1st Half 4:52
Drake 36
Vanderbilt 12:00 PM
Marquette
Temple 4:00 PM
Howard
Southern Miss 4:00 PM
Ole Miss
UMBC 4:00 PM
Rider
Miami-Florida 5:00 PM
UCLA
St Mary-KS 5:00 PM
South Dakota
William & Mary 5:00 PM
Wofford
Troy 5:30 PM
Evansville
Loyola Marymount 6:00 PM
USC
St Francis-PA 6:00 PM
Duquesne
Indiana-Southeast 6:00 PM
IUPUI
Delaware State 6:00 PM
Detroit
Tenn Temple 6:00 PM
Gardner-Webb
West Virginia St 6:00 PM
Radford
Fairfield 6:00 PM
Seton Hall
Dartmouth 6:00 PM
New Hampshire
Ball State 6:00 PM
Pittsburgh
Jacksonville 6:00 PM
Tennessee St
Trine 6:00 PM
Western Mich
Tenn Tech 6:30 PM
Lipscomb
Samford 7:00 PM
Tulane
New Orleans 7:00 PM
Tulsa
Incarnate Word 7:00 PM
TX-Pan American
Ark-Little Rock 7:00 PM
South Dakota St
CS-Northridge 7:30 PM
Northern Ariz
Santa Clara 8:00 PM
Oregon
(19) Oklahoma St 8:00 PM
Weber State
Washington 8:00 PM
San Diego State
Cal Poly 8:00 PM
New Mexico
(10) Louisville 8:00 PM
Grand Canyon
Connect with twitterConnect with facebookConnect with Google+Connect with PinterestConnect with PinterestConnect with RssfeedConnect with email newsletters

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Date/Opponent Time W L Score
2014 preseason     
Aug 8 - vs. Oakland 7 pmX10-6
Aug 16 - vs. Arizona 7:30 pmX30-28
Aug 23 - at Kansas City 7 pmX30-12
Aug 28 - at Tennessee 7 pmX19-3
2014 regular season     
Sep 7 - at St. Louis NoonX34-6
Sep 14 - vs. New England NoonX30-7
Sep 21 - at New Orleans NoonX20-9
Sep 28 - vs. Atlanta 3:25 pmX41-28
Oct 2 - at Green Bay 7:25 pmX42-10
Oct 12 - vs. Detroit NoonX17-3
Oct 19 - at. Buffalo NoonX17-16
Oct 26 - at Tampa Bay NoonX19-13 ot
Nov 2 - vs. Washington NoonX29-26
Nov 9 - Bye
Nov 16 - at Chicago NoonX21-13
Nov. 23 - vs. Green Bay NoonX24-21
Nov. 30 - vs. Carolina NoonX31-13
Dec 7 - vs. NY Jets NoonX30-24 ot
Dec 14 - at Detroit 3:25 pmX16-14
Dec 21 - at Miami Noon
Dec 28 - vs. Chicago Noon

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

question of the day

Poll: Who is your favorite pro sports coach in the Twin Cities?

Weekly Question

ADVERTISEMENT

 
Close