Little stands in the way of 5-0

The Patriots, Colts, Cowboys and Packers can become only the second foursome in NFL history to make it through Week 5 undefeated. They're favored by a combined 39½ points, which equals the amount of points a Vikings fan will witness between now and the time for leftover turkey.

The Patriots are giving visiting Cleveland 16½ points, which actually isn't bad, considering New England joined the 1920 Buffalo All-Americans as the only teams to win each of their first four games by 20 or more points. The All-Americans, by the way, insist they never filmed an opposing sideline because, well, they were more into vaudeville.

Meanwhile, the Saints, Rams and Dolphins are only a combined 12½-point underdog, meaning this could be the week the 1976 Buccaneers uncork the champagne and celebrate the fall, or rise, of the last three winless teams.

The Vikings, of course, are off this week. So that means they'll probably score 91/16 to 125/16 fewer points than normal.

CAR 3 at NO: Saints by 6. Carolina DT Kris Jenkins said the Panthers lost last week because they have "no heart." What he meant to say was "We have David Carr."

JAC -2 at KC: Chiefs by 3. Jags assistant Mike Tice loses focus and is overheard mumbling over and over, "But, Zygi, I beat the Packers. At Lambeau Field. In the freakin' playoffs."

DET +3½ at WAS: Redskins by 6. The Lions are going for their first 4-1 start since 1991 and further proof that maybe we shouldn't put Jon Kitna in a rubber room after all.

ATL +8½ at TEN: Titans by 3. Titans coach Jeff Fisher is 12-1 against the NFC South. And that was before Michael Vick became PETA's class valedictorian.

MIA +5½ at HOU: Texans by 3. Ronnie Brown can join Walter Payton as the only running backs in NFL history to total 200 or more yards from scrimmage in three consecutive games. Meanwhile, Ricky Williams wants to come back so he can break the record for most suspensions, set by Cheech. Or was it Chong?

SEA +5½ at PIT: Steelers by 3. A rematch of Super Bowl XL without having to go to Detroit, be in Detroit, freeze in Detroit, listen to Jerome Bettis talk about Detroit ...

CLE +16½ at NE: Patriots by 21. Super Bowl XLII is Feb. 3. Don Shula's Champagne Sale of the Century is Feb. 4.

ARI -3½ at STL: Rams by 4. Cardinals starting/sitting/returning/not-sure-what-the-heck-is-going-on quarterback Matt Leinart is 4-1 against NFC West rivals.

NYJ +3 ½ NYG: Giants by 6. I'm not sure, but I think the name Osi Umenyiora translates into, "Outta my way you big, fat tackle."

TB +10 at IND: Colts by 7. So where were you when Brett Favre borrowed Peyton Manning's record from Dan Marino?

SD +1½ at DEN: Chargers by 7. Hey, if Denver loses 30-7, will Tim Brewster congratulate his former team on its Golden Effort?

CHI +3 at GB: Packers by 7. The Packers are looking for their first 5-0 start since 1965. The Bears are looking to make fools of all of us who have to make those ridiculous preseason predictions.

DAL -10 at BUF: Cowboys by 7.

For the first time since 1995, the Cowboys are 4-0 ... and O.J. is in the slammer.

UPSET SPECIAL

BAL -3 ½ at SF: 49ers by 6. Trent Dilfer, the 49ers' new starting QB, said it's time to apologize to Ravens coach Brian Billick for holding a grudge against him the past seven years. To which Billick probably said, "Um, sure, why not? ... Who's Trent Dilfer?"

Last week's pick: Ariz. by 3 over Pitt • Result: Ariz. 21, Pitt. 14 • Record: 2-2

SEASON TRACKER

Last week

5-9 / 5-9 vs. spread

Season record

34-27 / 24-32-5 vs. spread