Finally, a soccer player has figured out how to market ``football" to an American audience.

Add a cage, Vince McMahon, full-body contact, and strippers pretending to be cheerleaders, and soccer will finally make it big, knocking MMA and the NFL from the top of the mountain. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNmPybFK2_o

Aren't things going just a little too well for Vikings coach Brad Childress? His ``Kick Ass Offense" becomes just that. His willingness to pursue Brett Favre for two summers winds up looking like genius. A contract extension appears to be in the offing.

Then he takes a Sunday off and gains a half-game on the entire division, meaning the toughest decision that may be left to him is how to approach meaningless games at the end of the season.

You know what? I'm happy for the guy. He made a lot of mistakes his first season. He learned from them. He has a sense of humor, even if it's sometimes hard to read. He's become about as well-liked as an NFL coach can be in his lockerroom. (If you're too well-liked, you're doomed.) Face it, Chilly-bashers: This is a well-coached team and a well-run organization.

My guy Joe Christensen suggests the Twins should try to trade for Roy Halladay or Josh Johnson, and that they should try to bring back Carl Pavano. I disagree, though, that the Twins have what it takes in their farm system to trade for Halladay or Johnson, or that Pavano is a good idea.

Pavano impressed simply because he displayed composure on the mound, but he hasn't had what I would consider to be a complete, impressive season since 2004. He did pitch extremely well against the Yankees in the playoffs, but I don't see enough of a track record to believe he's worthy of a multi-year contract. If the Twins can get him for a low-money, one-year contract, then he's worth a flier. That's as far as I'd go.

Not to sound like Jerry Seinfeld, but what marketing genius came up with ``United We Run" for the Wolves? They got run off the court in Portland last night. Bad teams shouldn't even try to run. The more possessions in a game, the more a bad team's flaws show up. When you're heading into a season where you're going to lose 60 games, skip the silly marketing campaign, and just beg people to be patient.

Upcoming: I'm on Twitter at SouhanStrib. I'll be on KSTP am-1500 with Reusse at 6:40 Tuesday morning, then on in St. Cloud on WJON at 7:14. Remember, if you're reading this while on the job, you're responsible for the recession.