Jim Souhan: From no way to 'Everyday'

Eddie Guardado's back in a Twins uniform, which means his teammates now have a clubhouse leader who just might freeze their underwear, line their jeans with peanut butter, and swamp them with ice water and talcum powder during private moments in the bathroom.

Whether Guardado helps the Twins to the playoffs or not, he'll make the clubhouse a looser and yet more paranoid place. The biggest prank of his career, though, is the one Guardado pulled on Major League Baseball, smashing a cream pie in the face of those who thought a short, stocky guy with little velocity couldn't carve out a 15-year big-league career.

"I never thought I'd make it one day," Guardado said this weekend upon his return to the Dome.

Guardado grew up in a tough section of Stockton, Calif., lost a brother to drugs, and never made an excuse in his life. He married his high school sweetheart and became one of the great characters, and overachievers, in the game.

Guardado still remembers his first day in the bigs, in 1993. He was pitching at Class AA Nashville. The Twins were in the tank. Guardado, who had never made it to the Twins' 40-man roster or a big-league spring training, got the call to the bigs, to join a team of players he had never met.

Lisa, then Guardado's fiancée, was showering. Eddie went into the bathroom to give her the news. "Then I flipped up the toilet lid and threw up," he said.

He walked into the visiting clubhouse breaking every aspect of manager Tom Kelly's dress code. "I had on jean shorts, a T-shirt and a hat," Guardado said. "And who's the first guy I see in the clubhouse? TK."

Kelly called Guardado out in the team meeting that day. Kirby Puckett cheered Guardado for flouting the dress code, and another voice offered to "take care" of the rookie.

It was Twins closer Rick Aguilera, who took Guardado to a mall the next day. Guardado promised to pay him back. "Aggie said, 'No, I got this,' " Guardado said. "He said, 'You remember to pass the torch, and take care of someone else down the road.' "

Guardado has, playing haberdasher to young Twins such as Grant Balfour and Juan Rincon, the Mariners' support staff, and this year Rangers phenom Josh Hamilton.

"I tell them the same thing Aggie told me," Guardado said. "I'm passing the torch."

Guardado was hardly an overnight success, posting ERAs of 6.18, 8.47, 5.12 and 5.25 his first four seasons. But Kelly liked his gumption, and the Twins were loathe to give up on a young, durable lefty, and Guardado went from lefty specialist to setup man.

Right after Ron Gardenhire finished with the news conference presenting him as Kelly's successor, he said that Guardado would be his closer in 2002. "He called to tell me," Guardado said. "I said, 'You sure?' "

Somehow, the tougher the role, the better Guardado fared. He became an All-Star in 2002 and 2003 before leaving as a free agent. "I never thought I'd be back here," he said. "I think I've got one more good year in me."

Considering he vacationed with former Twin Brad Radke in Minneapolis during the All-Star break and is now staying in former Twin Joe Mays' house, does he want to finish his career here? "That's not my decision," he said. "But I'd love to."

Guardado was talking in the Twins' Metrodome dugout. He remembered coming in to pitch the ninth against the Angels in Game 1 of the 2002 ALCS, receiving a standing ovation before he saved Mays' 2-1 victory. "I had 55,000 yelling my name here," he said. "I talk about that everywhere I go."

Guardado was Corey Koskie's accomplice the day in spring training when David Ortiz, distracted by frozen underwear, didn't realize that the inside of his jeans had been lined with peanut butter. "We got him good," Guardado said.

Now back in Minnesota with a little gray in his beard, Guardado has time to pull a few more pranks, maybe even to create a few more memories.

Jim Souhan can be heard Sundays from 10 a.m.-noon on AM-1500 KSTP. • jsouhan@startribune.com