In fight of his life, St. Bernard's coach focuses on team

The first postgame words from Kasey Gray did not come easily. That happens when emotions get in the way.

Gray is the baseball coach at St. Bernard's, a small private school in St. Paul. The Bulldogs had just lost to New Ulm Cathedral 18-7 Thursday in the quarterfinals of the Class 1A state tournament in Jordan. The outcome was not much of a surprise, considering that Cathedral is the top-ranked team in 1A and St. Bernard's is No. 20.

The bigger surprise is that Gray is coaching at all. Eleven months ago he was diagnosed with a serious brain condition: a malformation of the brain stem that led to blood leakage, slurred speech, vision problems and plenty of other physical issues. The boxscore went something like this: emergency room ... diagnosis ... medi-vac flight to Phoenix, six hours of neurosurgery by an expert in the field ... recovery and rehab that continue to this day.

Gray, 39, says he's about 85 percent back to normal. His right side remains affected; he walks with a slight limp and his right arm is weak. But he's back with his boys. That's part of why Thursday's postgame interview was so tough.

The first question: After everything that's happened, what does it mean to you to have your team in the state tournament?

As the coach began to speak, he choked up and quietly said "I'm sorry" as his words left the tracks somewhere between formation and delivery.

"We're just so happy to be here," he finally said as the emotions continued to bubble. "Despite the score, it doesn't take anything away from these guys."

Just then, Kasey's 4-year-old daughter Gabriella skipped up and said, without a care in the world, "Hi, Dad!" As he struggled with his composure, the little girl reached up and patted him gently on the back.

Neither Gabriella nor her brother McGwire, 7, cared about the scoreboard, of course. McGwire -- who wore a pint-size St. Bernard's uniform and had his face painted in the school colors of blue and gold -- was named after Mark McGwire, which gives you an idea of what baseball means to Kasey.

"It's been huge," his wife, Theresa, said of the role baseball and the Bulldogs have played in Kasey's comeback. "I think it's a great distraction for him, it gives him something to focus on. He's all about the team. He hasn't wanted the attention to be on him. He wants the focus to be on the boys."

The boys have been through a lot, as well. Hearing that your coach has been loaded onto a jet for an emergency flight to Phoenix and emergency surgery with an uncertain outcome? That can be heavy stuff.

"We were pretty scared. We didn't know what was going to happen," said junior pitcher Jordan Nowak. "It was rough. And it hurts to see him struggle a little bit. He's trying as hard as he can."

As the interview ended, Gray talked about his seniors. He was disappointed that their title dreams had ended:

"I'm not sad for myself. I'm sad for these guys. They poured their hearts out. Even though I asked them not to, I know they wanted to win this for me."

John Millea • jmillea@startribune.com