In my wood shed I have seven axes, one hatchet, three splitting mauls, two cant hooks, one peavey, four splitting wedges, and two sledge hammers.
These tools all hang up above two very large splitting stumps.
When I have guests in the fall who live most of their lives in the city, they suddenly want to split wood. I oblige them by handing them the one axe that barely has any handle left. The axe blade actually has two big gouges and I have not sharpened it in years.
They look at me like I’m nuts or it’s a joke, when right next to the bad ax is all these sharp looking, stout of handle axes, but inches away.
I told the guy who stopped by last week the same thing I told the guy last night. You want to split wood, bring your own ax, or you can use my visitor’s blade.
I have paid for all the handles I’m going to pay for unless I break them. From now on, I don’t need any, no matter how well intentioned, wood split and ax handles busted anymore.
He asked for a file and I got him one. He tuned up the blade, told me to let him have one of the two splitting stumps and started snapping wood in half like nobody’s business.
I’m no dummy so I said okay you can hang that old one up and grab a real piece of steel. We halved a full cord before my back said that was enough.
About that time his wife showed up so we laved the wood dust off while she got all the fixings ready. We were gonna make homemade piazzas.
He said it had been awhile since he lived in the woods and one of the things he missed was just splitting wood. I told him the way he went at it he could visit all he wanted whenever he wanted. He thought moving back to the country would be a better way to live his life.
He went into my kitchen and started to tell his wife what a great idea he had. The fresh air, the good clean living, all the trees and listen to how quiet it is here. He was on a roll.
The Mrs. while trying to be polite, didn’t think that was such a good idea and she was really glad they had moved back to town. She looked at him and said honey were not moving again. She said living out here as she recalled, you couldn’t even get a pizza delivered. I said I’m getting one tonight. She didn’t think that was too funny. The trout whisperer