Frequent contributor Jon Marthaler has written about virtually every sport in the Twin Cities, and fills in on Saturdays for the RandBall blog on StarTribune.com. He'll cover the professional soccer scene in the Twin Cities, whether at the Metrodome or at the National Sports Center.
Email Jon to talk about soccer.
Dana Wessel produces the Cane & Company morning show on 96.3 K-TWIN. The show is hosted by Cane Peterson and Eric Perkins/Rena Sarigianopoulos of KARE 11 and airs Monday-Friday 5:30am-10:00am. He explains it all, when it comes to the Premier League. Dana?
And we’re back! Welcome to the eleventh edition of Nuclear Wessel. This week’s edition promises to be the most nuclear-est edition yet!
I’ve actually started to submit this column in print form, with a $20 bill paper-clipped to it, in hopes that Marth might go through the archives and scrub my predictions involving Arsenal in the first few weeks. Yikes. I definitely alluded to the possibility of them not qualifying for the Europa League. Now they sit in first place, and could lose 142-0 this week (Marth - check to see if that’d be a record) and they would still be in first place next week. But that’s why I write about soccer here, rather than bet on games in a Vegas penthouse while being served buffalo wings by Anna Kendrick in a full Chelsea kit.
(It's kinda concerning that "Chelsea kit" was my go-to outfit for her to be wearing, right? I should probably go back and change that... Oh well. What’s done is done. Wheel of Fortune is almost on, and Marth has requested I submit these to him on Thursday evening rather than on Friday morning. Unbelievable right? What a demanding editor. I guess I could always just watch Wheel on DVR later, and go and polish that sentence - naw, somebody might tweet me a Wheel spoiler, and that would just leave a sour taste in my mouth heading into Friday. You never want that.)
A rather average slate of matches this weekend culminates with an absolute doozy between a Manchester United team desperate for a big result, and an Arsenal team desperate to prove to everyone they are for real.
Let’s get to it. We start with Chelsea, but I promise I kept it brief this time.
No. 3: Chelsea vs West Brom
When: Saturday at 9AM on NBC Sports Network
Last year: Chelsea bagged the full three points in a very nondescript 1-0 match, with Demba Ba snapping a seven-match scoreless streak by netting one in the 28th minute.
Woof. That Chelsea/Newcastle match sure was something, huh?
Now let’s never speak of it again.
(Editor's note: For those who didn't remember, Chelsea lost 2-0 at Newcastle last week. Wait, does this count as speaking of it again? Sorry, Dana.)
I was happy to see Jose Mourinho absolutely destroy the club after the match, because everyone except for John Terry deserved it. But the boys in blue responded like you knew they would, in a 3-0 home Champions League win against Schalke.
Samuel Eto’o scored two goals mid-week, and could be asked to start again Saturday against West Brom after Fernando Torres picked up a knock and appears set to lose the race to be fit by Saturday. Speaking of being fit, it doesn’t appear Nicolas Anelka will be ready to play against his former club. If Eto’o gets the day off, it would be Demba Ba up top; Ba put the cherry on top of the sundae on Wednesday, with a goal of his own.
It is so refreshing for Chelsea fans to see forwards scoring goals. It’s also great to see the Captain playing so well. I was planning on writing a lot about him here, but I don’t want to lose the non-Chelsea audience so quickly, so I'll just wrap up this up. West Brom have just one win in their last five road matches, and Chelsea have never lost at home under The Special One. All signs point to Chelsea having a laugh on Saturday, but I learned my lesson about being over-confident last week.
No. 2: Sunderland vs Manchester City at the Stadium of Light
When: Sunday at 9AM on NBC Sports Network
Last year: Sunderland actually managed to pick up three of their 39 points last year, at home against City in a Boxing Day match, with a 1-0 win.
I think we all can admit now that Jozy Altidore and Sunderland’s season together hasn’t exactly gone according to plan. The Black Cats survived relegation a year ago by the hairs of their chinny chin chin. It will take some doing the rest of the season to survive again this year.
But let's focus on the positives, yeah? Sunderland picked up their first league win of the year two weeks ago, when they handed a loss to Newcastle, 2-1. They are still very much in the drop zone, but to be frank, I couldn't care less if they get relegated or or not; all I care about is how Altidore performs, and that he gets the matches he needs to get ready for the World Cup next summer.
(My apologies to my massive readership in Sunderland)
And there is some good news for the young Altidore, who celebrated his 24th birthday this week. That isn’t a typo. He just turned 24. The problem with being a household name (in the American soccer world) since you were 16, is that jerks like me write you off before your 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd and 23rd birthday. My bad. Jozy was massive in both the win over Newcastle (quite a coming out for your first Tyne-Wear Derby) and on Wednesday in a 2-1 Capital One Cup Match win over Southampton - one of the darlings of league this season.
Jozy assisted on both goals, and played the unselfish kind of match that managers love. And wouldn’t ya know it? His manager loved it. Gus Poyet (former Chelsea player!) raved about the Great American 2014 Striker Hope after the match, lauding him for his play in what was a huge win for the team. He also took jabs at other players for not getting Altidore more looks on net.
Poyet was hired less than a month ago and has only been in charge for three matches. You always worry when a player transfers to a new club (especially a huge upward move like Jozy made, moving from the Netherlands to the biggest league in the world), and the manager getting sacked within the first month of the season only added to those worries. But it appears the man from Uruguay has taken a liking to young Josmer.
Jozy has had issues in his club career finding his place and fitting in. You need to look no further than his extensive loan record for evidence. It would be so detrimental if he was buried on the squad, and lost all semblance of form leading up to this summer. The fact that he is getting both playing time, and the backing from his manager, leaves me with visions of World Cup runs dancing through my head.
The Black Cats welcome Manchester City into the Stadium of Light Sunday. The result means little to me. City will likely win. I just want Jozy to play and score. And continue to play and score.
No. 1: Manchester United vs Arsenal at Old Trafford
When: Sunday at 10AM on NBC Sports Network -- shame this one isn’t on the big boy NBC. Last week, Arsenal-Liverpool got 990,000 viewers which was the highest of the season. I bet United/Arsenal would have topped the million mark.
Last year: United won this fixture 2-1 last November, behind goals by Robin van Persie and Patrice Evra. This one wasn’t as close as it looked, either; Arsenal scored in the 95th minute to make it look better for the papers.
This is an absolutely massive game for two of the biggest clubs in England - for completely different reasons.
Nobody would have been surprised if you told them that one of these teams had the opportunity to go 11 points clear of the other with a victory at Old Trafford on Sunday. But most would have thought you were crazy if you said it would be Arsenal in a position of authority over the defending champions.
Arsenal are five points clear of a three-way tie between Chelsea, Liverpool, and Tottenham right now, and it might appear there is some room for error for the Gunners here - but there really isn’t. United have shown themselves to be vulnerable at Old Trafford this season, with a loss to West Brom and draws to Chelsea and Southampton. A loss would put Arsenal just two points up - it's unlikely that Chelsea, Liverpool and Spurs will all lose winnable matches - and all of a sudden, United would be back within striking distance of the top of the table again, after their nightmare start.
A draw would be serviceable, and is a very likely result, but Arsenal have such a grand opportunity here. I am not going out on a limb by saying that few have fully bought into the dream start they have had through 10 Premier League matches and four of six group stage matches in Champions League.
Although they’d never admit to anyone else, even the biggest Arsenal fans appear to be going about this excellent start with guarded trepidation. We all know it is only the first week of November, and April/May are a long, long time away. A lot has been made in this space and others about how soft the fixture list had been for the Gunners up until this point. They deserve full credit for beating an in-form Liverpool side last week. They deserve even more credit for beating Borussia Dortmund in their barn. Winning a Champions League group stage match in Germany is never easy. Winning a Champions League final in Germany against a German team is even more difficult. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist).
But that won’t mean much if they come out Sunday and get dumped by United, and van Persie bags a pair. Then they come back to the pack a bit, and the story (fairly or unfairly) shifts. But a win gives them that massive result people have been waiting for, and would shut people like me up for a bit, and cause me to tip my cap.
United will clearly be motivated in a match that will certainly define their season one way the other if someone snatches the full three points. United have won three of their last four league matches but definitely could have used the confidence boost that a win at Real Sociedad in midweek would have provided them, but they settled for the 0-0 draw and we all got Hilarious Chicharito Botched Goal From Inside the Six Volume 43.
And just like a Arsenal loss would cause doubters to say “I told you so!," a United victory would cause their fans to say “I told you so!” to all the David Moyes-doubters. I'm hoping there are some fireworks in this one. I think there will be. The 10 o’clock kick is perfect, since it will be over right as NFL cranks up. No reason to miss it. Grab a friend who usually doesn’t watch soccer, and get them into it.
Next week, there are no Premier League matches, because of an international break. The World Cup play-in ties get decided (go New Zealand!), while a lot of other nations play friendlies. The US play in Scotland next Friday, and in Austria the following Tuesday. Awesome tests. Love Klinnsy’s scheduling.
Until we chat again, may your goals always be golden and headers always be diving.
GROUP A | Manchester United couldn't take advantage of a trip to formerly-pointless Real Sociedad, drawing 0-0 in Spain. Robin Van Persie missed a penalty and Marouane Fellaini managed to get sent off, and United couldn't find a way to win despite Sociedad not producing a single shot on goal.
Shakhtar Donetsk and Bayer Leverkusen couldn't find a goal in their match either, making Group A officially the most boring group in the history of anything. United are a point ahead of Bayer and three clear of Shakhtar, with two matches to play.
GROUP B | Real Madrid can still score, and still can't defend. Goals from Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale were canceled out by an Arturo Vidal penalty and a Fernando Liorente strike for Juventus, and the two finished 2-2 in Italy. The draw means that Juventus are on the bottom of Group D, though they can still go to the next round with wins against FC Copenhagen and Galatasaray, the former of which beat the latter 1-0 in Denmark.
GROUP C | Paris-St Germain beat Anderlecht 5-0 when the two teams met last week in Belgium, but Tuesday in Paris, the oil-soaked French club could only manage a 1-1 draw against the same team. They've still all but qualified - one point in their final two matches against Olympiakos and Benfica will accomplish it - but it was nice to see Anderlecht both get their first point, and deny PSG qualification.
In the group's other game, Olympiakos beat Benfica 1-0 to take control of the battle for second place. The Greeks are now three points clear of the Portuguese, with two games to play.
GROUP D | For the first time ever, Manchester City are going to the knockout round of the Champions League. Sergio Aguero scored twice and Alvaro Negredo had a hat trick for City, as they beat CSKA Moscow 5-2 at home. (For some reason, City games in Europe always seem to be goal-fests.)
Bayern Munich have also qualified for the next round, after their fourth win in four games. The defending champs beat Viktoria Plzen 1-0, and now Group D is officially decided, except to find out whether CSKA or Viktoria Plzen will finish third and end up in the losers' bracket of the Europa League.
EUROPE | The dream is over for Roma; they won't win 38 straight in Serie A this season. After winning their first ten matches of 2013-14 - and allowing just one goal in the process - the Italian leaders were held to a 1-1 draw at Torino. Alessandro Cerci, who came up through the Roma youth ranks, scored in the second half to equalize for Torino, and Roma couldn't find a way through to grab that eleventh straight win.
Surprisingly, the draw leaves Roma just three points clear of Napoli and Juventus in the table. It appears that it will be a top-heavy race in Italy this year.
MLS PLAYOFFS | Don't count Houston out yet. They won the play-in game in the Eastern Conference, and Sunday, they charged back from a two-goal halftime deficit against New York to earn a 2-2 draw and give themselves a chance heading into next week's second leg. Omar Cummings scored in the 92nd minute to get the draw, after New York's Jamison Olave had been sent off and Ricardo Clark had scored for the Dynamo.
Out West, Sean Franklin scored in the second half to lift the LA Galaxy over Real Salt Lake, 1-0, in the Galaxy's first game of their double title defense.
The semifinals conclude this week. Wednesday, New York and Houston tangle again, and Sporting KC tries to erase a one-goal deficit at home against New England. Thursday, RSL hopes for a home win against LA, and Seattle faces the unenviable task of going to Portland one goal down.
ENGLAND | Tottenham and Everton played to a scoreless draw, but the truly boring game of the day was between Cardiff and Swansea, a match that did not live up to the hype as the first all-Welsh match in Premier League history. Steven Caulker scored in the 62nd minute to ensure his immortality in Cardiff and clinch a 1-0 win, but there were very few chances in the match, which bored the pants off of everyone not located in Wales.
ENGLAND | Goals from Santi Cazorla and Aaron Ramsey, one in each half, were enough to give Arsenal a 2-0 home win over Liverpool and send the Gunners five points clear at the top of the Premier League table. The win was Arsenal's eighth in ten matches, but their first over a team in the top half of the standings. Liverpool remain even with Chelsea in second place, though one goal behind on goal difference.
Arsenal now faces parts two and three of a devilishly difficult week. They travel to Germany on Wednesday to play Borussia Dortmund, last year's European runners-up, in the Champions League, then hit the road to Manchester next Sunday to take on United.
They could come through with flying colors; their midfield, highlighted by Cazorla and Ramsey and Mesut Ozil and Jack Wilshire, is connecting in all departments at the moment. Or, the Gunners could get smashed twice and leave everyone ignoring them as potential title contenders.
Chelsea had a chance to briefly go ahead of Arsenal in the day's early game, but lost 2-0 at Newcastle despite controlling 61% of the possession and hitting the bar twice. Our Premier League expert Dana Wessel keeps saying that Chelsea, his favorite team, will be a league title contender, but right now they're confusing; they were flying after beating Manchester City last week, but then they go up north and lose.
And hey, give some credit to Newcastle, who got the win. We also need to mention Newcastle director of football Joe Kinnear, who this week attempted to sign a player that is already contracted to Newcastle. Casting a wide net, he is.
Elsewhere, Manchester United won back-to-back league games for the first time under David Moyes, beating a struggling Fulham 3-1 on the road, while Manchester City put in some work on its goal differential, beating Norwich City 7-0.
And Stoke City drew 1-1 with Southampton, a game highlighted by a bizarre 100-yard goal from Stoke keeper Asmir Begovic. (If you can't watch the video: The opening kickoff is played back to Begovic, whose long kick gets caught in the wind, bounces wildly on the edge of the Southampton area, over the keeper's head and in.) Begovic is also now Stoke's joint-leading goalscorer.
MLS PLAYOFFS | The conference semifinals, contested over two legs, began Saturday. In the East, New England beat Sporting Kansas City 2-1, with goals from Andy Dorman and Kelyn Rowe partially canceled out by a goal from KC's French defender Aurellien Collin. Kansas City has been good at home, though, so even down a goal going into the second leg, they still might be the favorites.
In the late game, Portland's Ryan Johnson scored in the opening quarter-hour, Darlington Nagbe added a second after halftime, and despite a late Osvaldo Alonso goal to give Seattle some hope, the Timbers took took control of their semifinal with a 2-1 away win. Portland hadn't won in Seattle for years - they hadn't even taken the lead since a game in 2007 - which makes the win by the Western Conference champs that much more impressive.
EUROPE | Real Madrid went up 3-0 on Rayo Vallecano, with two of the goals coming from Cristiano Ronaldo, before a pair of Jonathan Viera penalties in a three-minute span for Rayo forced Real to hold on for nearly 40 minutes for a 3-2 win.
In Germany, last-place - get ready for this name - TSV Eintracht Braunschweig stunned third-place Bayer Leverkeusen 1-0, giving Braunschweig just their second win of the season in eleven matches. In more normal news, Bayern Munich won 2-1 at TSG Hoffenheim and climbed back ahead of Dortumund in the Bundesliga table.
Over in Italy, Napoli won 2-1 over Catania and remained in second place, attempting to keep pace with undefeated Roma at the top of the Serie A table.
INVERNESS CALEY THISTLE | ICT got back in the win column on Saturday, beating Kilmarnock 2-1 in front of nearly 3,000 Caley Thistle die-hards. Aaron Doran and Graeme Shinnie - Graeme Shinnie! - scored for the home side, with Darren Barr scoring a hopeless reply for the visitors.
Celtic, the presumed league champions, could only manage a 1-1 draw with Dundee United at home, and suddenly, Caley is just five points back at the top of the Scottish table.
Dana Wessel produces the Cane & Company morning show on 96.3 K-TWIN Monday-Friday 5:30am-10:00am. The show is hosted by Cane Peterson and Eric Perkins/Rena Sarigianopoulos of KARE 11. Every week, he tells us what's what and who's who in the Premier League. Dana?
We are through one quarter of the Premier League season and we can now begin to start drawing some conclusions based on the 9 matches played (sample size! Derp!). Before we get to the top televised matches in England over the weekend, I would like to run a quick (ridiculous) theory I came up with last weekend.
The biggest setback for soccer in America during the 1990’s wasn’t the epic failure that was the 1998 World Cup. That certainly didn’t help anything, and taught us a valuable lesson about the detriment of a player sleeping with another player’s wife - but that wasn’t the biggest setback.
The biggest setback was the 1995 movie ‘The Big Green.’ I am serious.
We were in the golden era of underdog sports movies for kids. Mighty Ducks (1992) started the "rag-tag youngers overcome adversity to beat the tougher, more physical opponents" genre that we still know and love today. Baseball got its own flick with The Sandlot (1993) shortly thereafter. There isn’t a man or woman above the age of 20 that doesn’t get a little dusty when Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez steals home with Scotty Smalls on the call.
Then, in 1994, the makers of Mighty Ducks somehow topped the original with D2. Also, with Little Giants, the fine people over at Amblin Entertainment got Devon Sawa to be on the cover of Teen Beat for 42 straight months, and caused me to Facebook the girl that played Ice Box many, many years later.
Then...we come to 1995. Hoping to ride down the smooth path of success already paved by Ducks, Giants and tobacco-chewing 12-year olds, Walt Disney limped to the barn and made The Big Green.
You know how you’re a kid and every show you watch and every movie you see is so awesome? I even knew at the age of 10 that The Big Green was awful. And I loved soccer! First of all, Disney was too lazy to spend more than an afternoon casting the movie, and just tossed in the kid from Sandlot.
Casting director 1: “The goalie is the linchpin to this film and we have to make sure we find the right kid.
Casting director 2: “Screw it. Just call the fat kid from Sandlot and let's go get lunch.”
Casting director 1: “....You read my mind.”
It has been so many years since I have seen it that I can barely remember the specifics of the plot. Something about a teacher from England, a bunch of goobers that sucked at soccer, a goat, and Steve Guttenberg. Thanks, Disney.
The United States would have won the last three World Cups, and LeBron James would have chosen to play soccer, had The Big Green at least been as entertaining as the Yule Log that Channel 45 puts on 24/7 each holiday season. But it wasn’t. And we must continue to press on and do our best not to stop every day and wonder "what if?"
All right, now that the important stuff is out of the way, we can get to the silly matches. There are couple sexy ones pairing top-six teams to highlight matchweek 10:
No. 3: Fulham vs Manchester United at Craven Cottage
When: Saturday at 10AM on NBC Sports Network
Last year: United bagged a full sack of points at the Cottage last season thanks in part to a goal by Wayne Rooney in the 79th minute.
Manchester United picked up a crucial three points by coming from behind twice to beat Stoke City at Old Trafford. The scene afterwards was something that is typically reserved for a massive Champions League win, or victory over Liverpool. Fans were jumping and hugging in jubilation, and the players simultaneously applauded the supporters while breathing sighs of relief so big the place almost collapsed.
It was a deserved celebration, as United finally showed the fighting spirit that has made them Manchester United. The commentators were wondering aloud whether or not this win against Stoke could be a turning point in their season, and things finally may be on track for David Moyes as he tries to navigate his first season taking over for Sir Alex Ferguson.
It reminded me immediately of the 2008-09 Chelsea season, when Frank Lampard scored in the 94th minute to (coincidentally) also beat Stoke City 2-1. Chelsea was not living up to expectations after losing to United the year before in the Champions League final. They sat in third place, and had a manager in Luis Felipe Scolari in his first season taking over for club legend Jose Mourinho. Calls for his head were being made, and pressure was on him. The announcers in that match also wondered aloud if this would be what turned things around for Scolari and Chelsea.
It didn’t. At least not for Scolari. He was sacked two matches later, after Chelsea lost to Liverpool 2-0. Chelsea, however, went on to finish third, made a semi-final appearance of Champions League and won an FA Cup under Guus Hiddink. Always putting the fun in dysfunction, those Blues are.
My point is, while the "Is this the moment they turn their season around?" narrative is fun and exciting, it doesn’t exactly pan out that way, and is grasped at way too often. It is up to the veterans on United’s squad to build off this and get their team back to respectability. I think they will, too. They seem to genuinely like David Moyes (for the most part) and want to play for him. In that Chelsea example, it was clear by November that the veterans wanted Scolari gone, and there are legends of secret meetings between the top players and Roman Abramovich.
United will almost surely bag another three points on the road against a Fulham outfit that has dropped two their last three at home and look in utter disarray. That must be tough for my colleague Eric Perkins who has adopted Fulham as his favorite club. He is serious about it, too. He asks me questions every morning and his laptop is routinely on Fulham sites during breaks. Perk even made it out to Craven Cottage for a match while he was in London covering the Vikings. I love to see stuff like that. People you’d never expect to see soccer are beginning to be passionate about it.
But, unfortunately for him, United will roll Saturday. Also, I totally went back on my promise not to talk about Chelsea. I owe you all a beer. (Editor's note: We didn't believe that promise for a second, Dana.)
No. 2: Arsenal vs Liverpool at Emirates Stadium
When: Saturday at 12:30PM on NBC - Yes, the big boy NBC.
Last year: This match ended in a 2-2 draw a year ago after a wild seven minute stretch where 3 goals were scored.
What a spicy little first vs. third matchup this will be. Absolutely cannot wait for this one, and making things even better is that it falls on a Saturday, rather than a Sunday. I guess the schedule makers also thought these two teams would be competing for fourth place and not the top of the table.
Liverpool can go top of the table by a point, while Arsenal could go five points clear of the boys from Anfield. Gunners may be tops a quarter of the way through the season but they’d be lying if they said they felt like they were in command. Although they are unbeaten in their last eight league matches, they have been reeling in other competitions; they lost at home in the Champions League last week, and were dumped out of the "Capital One Card Cup: Brought to you by the Fine People of Playtone Records and formerly known as Carling Cup."
I read some quotes from Arsene Wenger where he barely stopped short of calling it a must-win match. As I wrote about last week, Hell Month is about to begin for Arsenal, and they didn’t exactly end their October hitting the highest of notes. A loss to Liverpool could easily send them snowballing downhill in a stretch of matches where traveling to Anfield is one of the easier tasks on the docket.
Liverpool have gotten the full twelve points in their last four matches, and have been scoring so often they are killing the grass on the inside of the nets. Their confidence will be further boosted by the return of Philippe Coutinho. Arsenal may have the longest unbeaten streak in the league right now, but it just feels like things are starting to turn. The trainer’s room has been jam packed all season and it is bound to catch up with them eventually. Meanwhile, Liverpool are playing with confidence and seem to be relishing the increased expectations brought by their hot start.
This one will be fun, plus it will end right before Gopher kickoff. Get comfortable on the couch, you deserve it.
No. 1: Everton vs Tottenham at Goodison Park
When: Sunday at 7:30AM on CNBC. Yep, CNBC. This one got bumped for race car driving. Vroooooom!
Last year: Spurs appeared to be cruising to a 1-nil win last December, thanks to a Clint Dempsey goal in the 76th - but Everton had other plans, getting an equalizer in the 90th and a winner in the 92nd. It was one of those matches you want to burn onto a DVD, fashion it into a Chinese throwing star and chuck it at someone who says soccer is boring.
First vs. third and fourth vs. sixth? Well, isn’t this just a spicy little weekend in our favorite league.
Both teams enter this match in excellent form. Everton have won five of their last six, having only dropped points in a 3-1 loss at Manchester City. Tottenham has been almost as impressive over the same stretch, winning four, drawing against Chelsea, and somehow managing to lose at home to West Ham.
A lot on the line for both teams as they fight for top four immortality. Everton have not lost at home and handed Chelsea their only league loss of the season within the cozy confines of Goodison Park. Spurs manager Andres Villas Boas might actually be pleased this match isn’t at White Hart Lane after he cut a WWE-style promo on the fans not being loud enough at last weekend’s 1-0 win over Hull City. Hey, AVB, maybe have your men playing well enough that it doesn’t take them until the 79th minute at home to score against Hull City?
You have to go back to 2007 to find the last time Spurs won at Goodison Park and as long as Timmy Howard has his neckbeard, I refuse to bet against the Toffees. This one is early but will be worth tuning into if you’re up early Sunday morning and can actually find CNBC on your cable package. I know I have it, but it will probably take me 30 minutes to find it.
Alright boys and gir...OK, lets be honest, I doubt any girls read this...until next time, may all your penalties be converted and your trips to Dairy Queen come no matter the final score.