Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could convince the world to love jumpsuits as much as he does. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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Yao Ming is almost certainly a better basketball player than you, unless you are Kevin Love and you are reading this right now (if so, hello, Kevin. Please hurry back).
But we will also say this: there is a very decent chance that you are a better golfer than Yao. How do we know that? Well, just look at this video (below) from the Mission Hills Celebrity Pro-Am in Haikou, China. As Yahoo notes, he gives Charles Barkley a run for his money.
It's not good enough to be a human dolphin. Michael Phelps has to try to dominate golf now, too? He sank a 150-foot putt today -- yes, they have such things when you are playing overseas -- during a pro-am. Here is the best video we could find (below). If it gets taken down, here is a link to worse video.
1) We managed to get six people total, including ourselves, to picture-esque Ft. Snelling Golf Course without any type of lateness or other incident.
2) Because of a very slow group in front of us, we were able to play as a six-some for all but the first and last holes of the 9-hole challenge without any type of incident -- including comment from other golfers and/or maiming from stray shots.
3) The cockamamie scoring system suggested by Marthaler (who suggested the whole golf outing, as long as we are doling out compliments), which we modified, as well as the haphazard manner in which we threw teams together actually made for a pretty even and fun competition. The rules: Three golfers per team were matched against each other. Each hole was worth one point in match play and one point overall for team score. A tie in either case carried over to make the next hole worth two points. And the signature seventh hole was worth double points. Each team had three mulligants to dole out at their discretion. Those last rules proved to be the undoing of our team, which also included Clarence Swamptown (pictured) and Rocket, the latter of whom made a five-hour drive specifically for the event. Team Marthaler also had Newbie and Stensation. We were matched against Marth and he wiped us out. Clarence sandbagged nicely and had the upper hand on Stensation on quite a few holes. Rocket took Newbie early but yielded the final four holes as Team Marth made a huge comeback, fueled by 6 of 8 points at the seventh, to earn the victory. Team Marth also used all three mulligans on the final hole to make two birdies and a par, sealing our fate.
4) The collective skill of the RandBall commenters when it comes to golf is, at the very least, respectable. Nobody embarrassed himself out there. Marthaler took home medalist honors with a 37. Clarence shot a 39. We were undone by two triple-bogeys on the first four holes on the way to a 44. Everyone hit some nice shots and enjoyed some fresh air. In the end, the final score was fun-to-fun.
It went off so well, in fact, that we would consider changing from an invitational to an open format next year (this year's group was small and thrown together somewhat at the last minute). Perhaps future events can incorporate other interested parties, T-shirts, all day debauchery and maybe even a bouncy castle?
Many of you might have switched over to the NBA finals by the time this happened. If that is the case -- or even if you saw it already -- please check out this "Bird-man" cutting in front of Bob Costas and his interview with U.S. Open winner Webb Simpson. Classic quip from Simpson: "Enjoy the jail cell, pal."
It's not quite "Clown question, bro," but it's close.
I almost made the first eagle of my modest golf existence. It was the Par-5 fourth hole at the Westport Golf Club in Westport, Ireland, and there is a metaphor somewhere in here.
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