Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could keep lies from conquering the minds of the weak. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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Apparently badgers are being slaughtered in England. We had no idea. What we do know is that it's only a matter of time until "Badger Swagger" -- a song that united Slash with British rapper Sonny Green -- is co-opted by Wisconsin fans for their own personal use. We look forward to -- and are yet frightened by -- the prospect of many uploaded renditions of this coming from Dairyland folks. For now, here is the original:
You can find tons of great coverage on local recruiting right here. And then you can find some seedier stories.
Sigh. Oh, signing day. Alex Collins, a five-star RB recruit, would like to sign with Arkansas. There's just one problem:
Corey Long reported on ESPN that Collins' mom has upstaged his signing ceremony and is refusing to let him sign his letter of intent to Arkansas. In fact, she cannot even be found.
"The papers are not there. I've been told by two different sources that Alex Collins' mom confiscated the papers and took off and ran with them. They are looking for her currently. From what I understand, Alex is not at the school right now, he is looking for his mom. She was quite torn up about him leaving."

Note: These are meatless wings, not the boneless wings championed by Dana Wessel.
Per PETA.org (football pun warning):
Manti Te'o may have been buffaloed by a fake girlfriend, but sometimes "fake" is actually better. That's why PETA created this billboard urging football fans to avoid unnecessary roughness to chickens on Super Bowl Sunday by intentionally grounding real chicken wings and opting for play-action fake fowl instead. ... The price of chicken wings is currently skyrocketing because of higher feed costs caused by this summer's drought, which makes now the perfect time to try vegan wings, such as Gardein Classic Style Buffalo Wings, a favorite of vegetarian and former Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams.
The girlfriend might not be real, but apparently the spelling is to the New York Times, as multiple people have noticed and sent to us:


Jon Marthaler bakes up a delicious batch of links for you every weekend. Other times, you can find him here. Jon?
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The NHL took out full-page ads in 40 newspapers on Friday, including this newspaper, apologizing for the lockout. This is the latest in a series of gestures that are designed to portray the league and its teams as contrite for causing pro hockey to stay away until mid-January. I almost wish the NHL would have printed this instead:
Dear fans: We're not sorry.
Oh, we'll make any gesture that our PR gurus say we need to make, so we'll paint slogans on the ice and take out full-page newspaper ads, but in truth we're not one bit sorry for this lockout. We got pretty much everything we wanted -- more money for us, less money for the players, and all we had to give up was a handful of home dates to do it. Heck, that doesn't even matter in like 10 of our markets, since nobody goes to those games anyway. (And we didn't even fix that with half-decent revenue sharing). How is that not a good deal for us?
And let's be honest, most of you didn't notice anyway. TV ratings prove we're irrelevant nationally in America, anyway, so we're safe there. And as for fans, they filled an arena in St. Paul on Wednesday just to watch an intrasquad scrimmage, the same day the team set a franchise record for tickets and merchandise purchased; it's safe to say that the fans hardly cared, either. They're back. We win.
Ultimately, players get less and owners get more, and fans, we'll happily let you purchase our wildly expensive tickets and fill our arenas again. We're caring like that.
*On with the links:
*There aren't many good ways to objectively measure the defense of the catcher in baseball, though the Twins -- who just agreed to a $700,000 contract with Drew Butera, one of the worst hitters in baseball history -- must have some good ones. Parker Hageman at Twins Daily does a study of one thing we can measure -- the amount of time it takes Butera, Joe Mauer, and Ryan Doumit to get the ball to second base on a steal attempt.
*I'm pretty sure that the people who invented the Internet did so just for things like this: Baseball Prospectus breaks down the baseball clips in a scene from the TV show 'Elementary', in complete detail, and for good measure interviews the show's producer to ask about the footage selected.
*To kick off the NHL season, Sean McIndoe looks at ten players to watch this year in the NHL. And if that wasn't enough, he also teams up with Bloge Salming to give us one of the greatest movie trailer parodies you're ever likely to see (assuming, like me, you enjoy jokes about Roberto Luongo).
*The Economist talks to the commissioner of Major League Gaming. Key takeaway: there is a professional video game league called Major League Gaming.
*And finally: if you liked Tebowing, you're going to love Te'oing.
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