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Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could keep lies from conquering the minds of the weak. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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Posts about Wild news
Weekend Links with Jon Marthaler: Hockey Day! and Wolves TV ratings way up
Posted by: Michael Rand Updated: February 12, 2011 - 10:59 AM
Jon Marthaler bakes up a batch of delicious links just for you. Other times, you can find him here and here. Jon?
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Happy Saturday! Today is, of course, Hockey Day Minnesota, the now-annual celebration of local hockey (and excuse to play high school games outdoors). I've always liked this event, because it feeds into the "State of Hockey" marketing that the Wild created a decade ago. It may not apply to the entire state, but it's nice to have one thing that's different about our state. So I encourage you: sit down and watch some outdoor hockey this morning. Head down to your local arena to catch a game tonight. Be a Minnesotan; be part of our tradition. It's Hockey Day!
A few thoughts and some good reading for you:
*We start with hockey - of course - and the story of how Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke became Canada's leading advocate for gay athletes. It's a really touching story, and heartbreaking, and thought-provoking. And while we're talking hockey, I really enjoyed Michael Russo's profile on Andrew Brunette on the occasion of Bruno's 1000th NHL game. Brunette truly has to be in the running for "best NHL player ever that couldn't beat most goalies in a footrace."
*While we're in profile mode: why not tackle SI's profile of Jake Plummer, the man who did what we'd all like to believe we could do, and walked away before he'd stayed too long. (Including bonus education about the game of handball!)
*Via commenter fasolamatt is this week's fasolalink: some guidance on when to use substitutes in a soccer match. Given that fasolamatt has a long-lost twin that referees state soccer matches, this seems oddly appropriate.
*We have some proof that things are looking up for the Timberwolves: the team's TV ratings are up 86 percent, second in the NBA to only Miami. Kevin Love continues to work his magic, even through the television screen.
*And finally: I think I need to check out this Onion SportsDome show on Comedy Central, because this is truly inspired genius. It's the "Kwame Brown Lottery," a (fake, of course) look at which team has to be saddled with the failed former #1 draft pick. (Hey, at least the Wolves finally won one of these things.)
That's enough for me. Enjoy the weekend, and the warm weather. You've earned them both.
Rocket's Red Glare: Tim Thomas' art isn't going to appreciate itself
Posted by: Michael Rand Updated: February 9, 2011 - 12:10 PM
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Hocku of the week
How can it be possible
That Tim Thomas can look
So horrible, yet so great?
Fartistry in Motion
A few weeks ago my wife, Rockette, dragged me to an art museum. Rockette is deeply invested in art and is making a career out of studying material culture. I am much less interested in art and much more willing to act like an adolescent. As such, when she told me that she wanted us to go to the art museum I asked her why she thought it was so important that we go to a “fart museum.”
Despite Rockette’s best efforts at expanding my horizons and deepening my appreciation for the beauty in life, I refused to be moved from my childish absurdities. At the museum, while Rockette drank in the cornucopia of paintings and carving and sculptures, I went around looking for pictures of naked chicks. After an interminable period, she finally had enough and we headed home. Once in the car, an obviously reenergized and gratified Rockette made the mistake of asking me what I thought about our sojourn. I was not to be found with Denny Green, as I did not take the high road. I told her that my only regret about the “fart museum” was that I did not have a can of beans before we went so that I could leave behind a few priceless “fartifacts.”
Oftentimes Rockette seems sad to be married.
Despite – or perhaps because of – my decided lack of maturity, Rockette willingly attends hockey games with me without (too much) complaint. As of late, we have been treated to some exceptional hockey, much of which has been the product of Tim Thomas.
Thomas is, of course, the main man between the pipes for the Boston Bruins and he is having the type of year that can only be described like this. While it is hardly a complete surprise that the former Vezina Trophy winner might have a very good season, it is a bit shocking that Thomas would do so. Last year, the late bloomer managed a mediocre season after signing what looked like a gassy albatross of a contract with the Bruins. He is not a particularly technically sound goaltender, so when complacency seemed to set in it looked like the Bruins were stuck with an ugly cap hit.
No so. Yet, Thomas is not just having a great season, he is having a historic season. For every 20 shots he faces he is stopping 19 of them. If his save percentage continues to hold it will be an NHL record, and his less-than-two goals against average is nothing to sneeze at either. As noted above, he is not a master technician, which means that this ridiculous year is not the product of sound fundamentals and good angles but of the sheer doggedness and desperation that produces saves like this and these.
I am a bad husband who did not take the time to share and enjoy the many wonderful works of art at the museum with Rockette. When our marriage eventually dissolves I know full well that it will have been my fault for not appreciating her and what she has brought into my life.* While I have missed my chance, I urge all hockey fans not to miss theirs. Boston plays Detroit this Sunday on NBC’s game of the week. If you haven’t already, you need to see Tim Thomas in action during this historic season. He is currently the greatest “fartifact” in the NHL right now.
*To any and all divorce lawyers in the future, this is not an admission of guilt on my part. I do not know where her
missing jewelry is, who has been prank calling my mother-in-law, nor do I know how those other lady’s unmentionables got into my glove compartment. I have never heard of any Swiss bank accounts and, for the purposes of calculating alimony, I have made $357 on average each of the past three years.
Rocket's Red Glare -- Dispatches from the NHL All-Star Game
Posted by: Michael Rand Updated: January 31, 2011 - 2:20 PM
Welcome to the latest installment of Rocket's Red Glare, where Commenter Rocket attempts (and sometimes succeeds) to talk about an NHL topic in fewer than 2,000 words. Rocket?
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As you might remember from last week’s post, I had the rare opportunity to actually attend the NHL’s Skills Competition and All-Star Game. I wanted to share some insights about the experience with you and, as any true hockey fan knows, the best way to do that would have been through interpretive dance. Unfortunately, the head oligarch of this blog claims that I would have to go through many complicated steps, including digitally filming the performance and “uploading” it – whatever the [redacted] that means – regardless of the many hours I have already been choreographing and practicing. Whatever you say, Comrade RanBball. I guess I’ll just use the paltry English language to fumble my way through some stray observations instead of truly sharing the experience with everybody through movement, art, and soul.
*Fantasy Draft*
-- This thing was a silly, awkward, overlong mess. I can’t wait for it to happen next year. There are some issues that need to be ironed out, but once everybody gets the hang of it I imagine this might be the most fun event of the entire weekend.
-- First overall pick Cam Ward tried to start the evening on the right foot. He’s a good (and underrated) goalie who’s having a very good season, but he clearly was picked first because he is a teammate of Eric Staal, one of the all-star captains. Recognizing the moment for what it was, when asked about being , “I was the best player available, I guess.” This event will grow and succeed if it is able to generate this sort of personality and humor.
-- Speaking of which, another favorite moment was when New York Rangers defenseman Marc Staal was interviewed about seven or eight rounds into the event and – obviously jokingly – called his brother and team captain Eric Staal, “classless,” for not selecting him. Then, immediately, Eric Stall engaged in the “classless” move of picking, “from the New York Rangers … (pregnant pause) … Henrik Lundqvist.” Hilarious.
-- Former Gopher Phil Kessel – whose past afflictions may someday draw the ire of Kevin Garnett -- was the last player selected. This was to the great delight of Alex Ovechkin.
*Skills Competition*
-- The home market is in love with Jeff Skinner. Seriously. It’s possible that he is the most popular athlete in North Carolina right now. He seems like a good kid and he is the youngest ever all-star in any sport, but the love for this kid is almost frightening. He gets the biggest ovations at the games, he gets treated like a rock star, even the mere mention of his name seems to bring smiles to the faces of young and old alike. So when PK Subban swapped jerseys with North Carolina’s version of Joe Mauer, the roof nearly blew off of the place.
-- Alex Ovechkin was made for this kind of event. At the risk of ruining it by co-opting loaded terminology, he looks like he’s having fun out there when this happens and he does this.
-- Corey Perry won the shootout competition and should have won the breakaway challenge.
*All-Star Game*
-- Obviously, these games have lost a bit of their luster. However, tension slowly built all the way through until the end was actually exciting. The partisan crowd was disappointed with Team Staal’s loss, but it was a thrilling ending to a close game.
-- I wore my replica ’72 Soviet Union Jersey and I talked my wife, Rockette, into wearing my replica ’80 USA jersey. While only one person in the crowd seemed to get it I still enjoyed the symbolic juxtaposition. Rockette was more tolerant than amused. Her observation on the jersey choices: “You have to be pretty nerdy to get this. (/Adopting a deep-throated, slightly nasal “dumb guy” voice/) Do you get our joke about the Cold War?”
*Final Thoughts*
-- Everybody knows that hockey is better live than on TV. So it is with the All-Star weekend. Nonetheless, this was fun and I am intrigued by its future. I can’t promise that I’ll watch every minute of next year’s game in Ottawa, but I’ll be curious to see the fantasy draft again and I can foresee tuning into much more coverage than I had in the past.
-- This person had the sign of the event:
Rest assured that the partially obscured sign does, in fact, welcome everybody except for those who hail from “Barfalo.” It is now clear that we need a better nickname for Wisconsin, people.
-- Is there a challenger to the State of Hockey? (Probably not, but give the folks their due).
-- It doesn’t matter how much one whines about them, all-star games aren’t going away. So either ignore them or consider another perspective.
-- This can probably disappear without further mention, though.
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