Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could keep lies from conquering the minds of the weak. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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While a strong part of us is definitely not relieved that we have something in common with Chad Ochocinco, part of us still does feel better. We've probably explained before how back in the day (read: often into our 20s) we would go with Rocket to a local football field and practice placekicking. We believe both Rocket and us successfully made 35-yard attempts at one point. It was a household highlight for a long time -- or at least until we woke up the next morning and found that our leg muscles had been replaced with a mixture of pain and cement.
Ochocinco (nee Johnson) has a similar itch that was finally scratched in an exhibition game last night. From the AP:
Cincinnati's emergency kicker and international soccer fan booted the decisive extra point late in the first half and the Bengals beat the sloppy New England Patriots 7-6 on Thursday night.
"'Esteban' Ochocinco is back, the most interesting footballer in the world," Ochocinco said. "Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now."
Ochocinco practices kicking but had never done it in a preseason or regular-season game in his eight years with the Bengals, the first seven as Chad Johnson. But when Shayne Graham's groin felt sore in pregame warmups, coach Marvin Lewis decided to rest the team's franchise player and see what Ochocinco could do. He did very well.
After the game, Ochocinco pulled out his PDA and displayed a photo of him with soccer star David Beckham. "Soccer's my first love, Kicking's easy ... like riding a bike," he said. "I can kick them from 50, 60 yards, left or right hash mark. ... I kicked all through high school."
On the surface, kicking seems to be one of the lamest things you can do on a football field (sorry, Super Rookie. We say that in all deference to whatever St. Paul public school record you still hold). The kicker is usually the small guy that practices away from everyone else (or with the punter, who is equally awkward but at least bigger). Maybe the draw is that everyone thinks they should be able to do it. Ochocinco thinks he can do just about anything, so it's not surprising that he is in this category. (It's worth noting that his PAT was the difference in a 7-6 victory, even if it was a meaningless preseason game).
Still, it can't just be that simple. There has to be a greater allure that comes with trying to kick a ball through the uprights. What is it?
That is your morning question. We're hoping to have some more quality fodder as the day rolls along. We're about to put out the bat signal for Rocket, who left a voicemail two days ago indicating he had gone out that day to buy Madden 10 just so he could have Brett Favre play for the Vikings. A guest post might be in order.
Also, thanks for the suggestions on last night's final post. Rest assured they have been taken seriously and passed along through the proper channels. We'll get through this. Just hang tight.
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