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Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could keep lies from conquering the minds of the weak. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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Posts about Baseball
The Seattle Mariners have been your testicle injury leaders for close to 3 decades
Posted by: Michael Rand Updated: August 17, 2009 - 3:52 PM
What you might have known is that Adrian Beltre (pictured, in happier times) suffered a severely bruised right testicle (OW! OW! OW! Noooooooooo!) in a recent game.
What you almost certainly didn't know is that 29 years ago, another Seattle Mariners player suffered the same fate -- against the Twins' Roy Smalley, no less. We have an unconfirmed suspicion that it wasn't actually a line drive, but rather a graze from 60 feet, 6 inches by Smalley's massive hair, but we'll let the Seattle Times do the heavy lifting:
Two other notable elements from 1980: Mike Parrott won on opening day for the Mariners and finished the season with a 1-16 record (and a ruptured testicle after getting, uh, beaned by a Roy Smalley smash; but that's another story).
A colleague alerted us to that Smalley-Parrott play and said he was at the game when it happened and that it was obviously not a pretty sight.
All of this is a long way of saying: why on earth would a player not wear a cup?
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