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Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could keep lies from conquering the minds of the weak. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.
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If the Twins walk up to bat tonight to Justin Bieber songs ...
Posted by: Michael Rand under Target Field, Twins fans Updated: June 29, 2010 - 12:28 PM
1. Denard Span -- "One time." It's track one on Bieber's first release, My World (not to be confused with his second release, My World 2.0.) Seems like a natural lead-off track.
2. Orlando Hudson -- "Never Let You Go." O-Dog needs to stick somewhere and finish out his career. Too much bouncing around.
3. Joe Mauer -- "Where Are You now?" Tip of the cap to the frenzied fans who acquire a murderous rage whenever Mauer doesn't catch.
4. Justin Morneau -- "Down to Earth." Both of these guys are Canadian. Both are named Justin. And both are famous.
5. Michael Cuddyer -- "One Less Lonely Girl." Some of the ladies seem to like him.
6. Jason Kubel -- "Up." Because his fly ball percentage has gone up every year since 2007.
7. Jim Thome -- "Bigger." Guy really fills up a uniform. Just a prototypical old-school power hitter.
8. Delmon Young -- "Baby." Because anyone who rationalizes the Twins/Rays trade will always mention that Delmon is still only X years old (number changes annually).
9. Nick Punto -- "That Should Be Me." For the fans who think they could offer what Punto brings to the lineup for a far less expensive price tag.
Bonus: Tonight's starting pitcher, Nick Blackburn -- "Common Denominator." The Twins were 8-1 in his first nine starts during better times. They are 0-5 in his June starts, a big part of their swoon.
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