If you want to see a good ol' fashioned cluster-[redacted], circle your calendar for one week from tomorrow. That's the first Vikings preseason game, at home against Houston, and this has nothing to do with anything we might see out of the fringe players vying to make the roster.

It has everything to do with the NFL's new bag policy.

The Vikings spent time on Wednesday trying to educate the public on this policy, and they will continue to do so up until gameday, on gameday and beyond.

But in large part, we imagine it will not matter. There are going to be THOUSANDS of fans who did not get the memo. We'll do our part and pass this along, per Vikings.com:

The Vikings strongly encourage fans to not bring any type of bags, but outlined today what is permissible. Fans will be able to carry the following style and size bag, package, or container at stadium plaza areas, stadium gates, or when approaching queue lines of fans awaiting entry into the stadium:

  • Bags that are clear plastic, vinyl or PVC and do not exceed 12" x 6" x 12." (Official NFL team logo clear plastic tote bags are available through club merchandise outlets or at nflshop.com), or
  • One-gallon clear plastic freezer bag (Ziploc bag or similar).
  • Small clutch bags, approximately the size of a hand, with or without a handle or strap, may be carried into the stadium along with one of the clear bag options.
  • An exception will be made for medically necessary items after proper inspection at a gate designated for this purpose.

Prohibited items include, but are not limited to: purses larger than a clutch bag, coolers, briefcases, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, luggage of any kind, seat cushions, computer bags and camera bags or any bag larger than the permissible size.

The link above goes on to describe with pictures the types of bags that are OK and those that are not. Basically, if you don't have a clear plastic bag (conveniently available for purchase via the NFL along with a lot of other bags that you can't bring into the stadium!) or a tiny purse (smaller than 4.5 inches by 6.5 inches) you are not getting it into the stadium.

No backpacks, no camera bags, no normal sized purses. The security measure has the good intention of providing additional security to fans, no doubt in response to the Boston Marathon bombing.

That does not change our opinion that 8 days from now will be a complete nightmare, and early regular-season games with even more fans (many of whom skipped the fake games) will be as well. If you want to see a meltdown from a purse-carrying Vikings fan, you know where to be.