Hey guys, don't worry about an NBA work stoppage. Just listen to Ron Artest! Via ESPN: "I don't think there's going to be a long lockout," Artest said. "I don't think we're going to miss any games. I think there's going to be some negotiations but I see us playing in October. I think [NBA commissioner] Mr. [David] Stern and [NBA Players Association director] Mr. [Billy] Hunter will resolve it. I think they're going to learn from the NFL lockout. America isn't America without sports. You wouldn't want to be the guy who messed up sports."

Artest should know. For a while after the big brawl, he was the poster child for the unanswerable question, "What is wrong with sports?"

But wait, there's more! This might be our favorite paragraph in a long time.

If there is a lockout, however, Artest is working on a second career as a comedian.

Come to think of it, we would pay money to see Artest doing comedy. But only if he wears the baseball hat.