Rand: Sports on a plane? Game on!

  • Updated: March 7, 2013 - 6:36 AM
hide

Signs at U.S. airports remind travelers what they can’t bring aboard. But the Transportation Security Administration recently relaxed the rules on some sports-related items. Now what can you do with them on your flight?

Photo: PATRICK SEMANSKY • Associated Press ,

CameraStar Tribune photo galleries

Cameraview larger

The Transportation Security Administration recently updated its list of items prohibited on airplanes, and while we are sad to report that things like full-size toothpaste tubes are still a no-go, several sports-related items now get the thumbs-up.

No, we are not making that up. Below, we will list some items now allowed to be carried onto a plane, as well as the, ahem, particular use you might have for these items while aboard your flight.

• Hockey sticks: If you are having a hard time explaining to a seatmate the various penalties that occur in hockey, you can take out your stick and — a la Denis Lemieux in “Slap Shot” — give a vigorous demonstration of high-sticking, slashing, tripping, hooking, spearing and any other stick infraction.

• Lacrosse sticks: Let’s say you are traveling with a big group, but you end up seated in different parts of the plane. You could sling an iPod, a bag of peanuts or pretty much anything within reason from 16B to 25C in a hurry.

• Pool cues: This is just a proposal, but we’ve sat in exit rows before and you can’t tell us that extra space couldn’t be used for a miniature pool table. Just thinking out loud. Flight attendants would have to amend the preflight speech for those seated in the rows to include “and capable of making the 8-ball in the corner pocket,” but that’s a risk we have to take.

• Ski poles: We’ve all seen those beer commercials where simply opening a can of the colder-than-cold brew turns any kind of hot situation into a snow-and-ice party. Would you want to be at that party without ski poles if it happened on a plane? Or would you want those ski poles? The answer is obvious.

• Golf clubs (limit of two): Yeah, you can’t bring your whole bag. But you could bring, say, a couple of putters. How about a putting contest from one beverage cart to the next? Closest to the ginger ale wins.

• Novelty bats: The bat must be either less than 24 inches long (like a souvenir bat) or, if it is longer than that, less than 24 ounces ... like a whiffleball bat. If you aren’t already thinking about where the bases would be on a plane during a game of whiffle ball, then we can’t be friends.

MICHAEL RAND

  • get related content delivered to your inbox

  • manage my email subscriptions

ADVERTISEMENT

St. Louis - WP: L. Lynn 4 FINAL
Washington - LP: J. Zimmermann 3
Toronto - WP: M. Buehrle 5 FINAL
Cleveland - LP: C. Kluber 0
LA Angels - LP: C. Wilson 2 FINAL
Detroit - WP: M. Scherzer 5
Baltimore - LP: B. Norris 2 FINAL
Boston - WP: J. Tazawa 4
Minnesota - LP: K. Correia 4 FINAL
Kansas City - WP: B. Chen 5
Cincinnati - LP: T. Cingrani 4 FINAL
Chicago Cubs - WP: E. Jackson 8
Houston - LP: C. Qualls 3 FINAL
Oakland - WP: D. Otero 4
Milwaukee 3 Bottom 3rd Inning
Pittsburgh 1
Atlanta 0 Top 3rd Inning
NY Mets 1
NY Yankees 0 Bottom 3rd Inning
Tampa Bay 1
Seattle 0 Bottom 3rd Inning
Miami 0
Chicago WSox - J. Quintana 7:05 PM
Texas - C. Lewis
Philadelphia - K. Kendrick 7:10 PM
Colorado - J. Lyles
Arizona - M. Bolsinger 7:10 PM
Los Angeles - D. Haren
San Francisco - T. Hudson 7:40 PM
San Diego - E. Stults
Brooklyn 94 FINAL
Toronto 87
Golden State 109 FINAL
LA Clippers 105
Atlanta 36 2nd Qtr 5:52
Indiana 37
Memphis 8:30 PM
Oklahoma City
Chicago 3 FINAL(OT)
St. Louis 4
Columbus 1 2nd Prd
Pittsburgh 3
Minnesota 8:30 PM
Colorado
Houston 0 FINAL
Philadelphia 0
New England 1 FINAL
Chicago 1
San Jose 0 2nd Half 5:00
Colorado 0
Los Angeles 1 1st Half 5:00
Vancouver FC 0
D.C. 0 1st Half 44:55
Columbus 0
Toronto FC 7:30 PM
FC Dallas
Montreal 7:30 PM
Sporting Kansas City
Portland 8:30 PM
Real Salt Lake
Seattle 9:30 PM
Chivas USA

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

question of the day

Poll: Which quarterback is best in the NFL draft?

Weekly Question

ADVERTISEMENT

Connect with twitterConnect with facebookConnect with Google+Connect with PinterestConnect with PinterestConnect with RssfeedConnect with email newsletters

ADVERTISEMENT

 
Close