Rand: A-Rod, this is Joe. Got a sec?

  • Updated: October 30, 2012 - 1:11 AM

Joe Girardi reportedly called Alex Rodriguez recently to talk about his benching. Imagine what he said.

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New York Yankees manger Joe Girardi

Photo: Matt Slocum, Associated Press

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ESPN.com reported on Monday, via an anonymous source, that Yankees manager Joe Girardi spoke by phone to Alex Rodriguez for more than an hour recently as the duo attempts to repair any lingering damage in their relationship. To be clear: We do not know who the anonymous source is. But that won't stop us from speculating on how the conversation might have gone:

Girardi: Alex? It's, um, Joe. Girardi. Your manager.

A-Rod: Hey skip.

Girardi: So I know that this is awkward, but we need to talk.

A-Rod: Six hundred and forty seven.

Girardi: What's that?

A-Rod: The number of home runs I have hit in my career.

Girardi: Oh, right. Yes. So about that. I'm hoping we can move past the playoffs. It was awkward for me to have to replace you so many times in the most important games of our season. But I also want you to know that you are absolutely part of our plans going forward. I need you next year playing third base and hitting home runs -- doing A-Rod stuff.

A-Rod: That doesn't make any sense, skip. Why would you bench me when it matters most and tell me you still need me.

Girardi: (Inaudibly, with hand over the phone: Because we can't trade you and we still owe you $114 million. We don't want that to be sunk cost). Sorry, there was someone at the door. Because those were very specific situations and I was trying my best to spark the team in any way I know how.

A-Rod: I know I was in a slump, skip, but it wasn't just me. Did you notice Robinson (Cano) was 3-for-40 in the playoffs? Grandy (Curtis Granderson) was 3-for-30. The guy who played third instead of me, whatever his name is (Eric Chavez) didn't have a hit in the whole playoffs.

Girardi: Yeah, I know. But when I pinch hit for you the first time, and Raul (Ibanez) hit those homers, man that was cool. I thought it would keep working.

A-Rod: Maybe you kind of lost your mind for a little while?

Girardi: Something like that. Maybe I would do things differently if I could. But I can't. All I can do is try to win you back.

A-Rod: Well, I'll think about it. You promise not to bench me in the playoffs again?

Girardi: What's that? Sorry, the connection is getting bad here. I'm going to run. But good talk.

MICHAEL RAND

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