Matriculating subjects down the field, yard by yard, in a newspaper version of the Vikings offense:
Where have you gone, Bud Grant? Our state turns its wimpy eyes to you.
Grant, Minnesota's paragon of toughness, once said "The greatest ability is durability." Grant has been known to blast a goose out of the sky then tell the goose to "walk it off." What must Grant think of Minnesota sports today?
The Vikings' quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson, is blowing his chance to be a starter because he can't stay on the field. The Twins' Joe Mauer is convalescing after a season in which he contracted Tarvaris-itis. The Wild's Marian Gaborik and Pavol Demitra are known for their compatibility, but synchronized Slovakian groin strains?
You can miss Kevin Garnett's double-doubles; I'll miss his singlemindedness in playing through injuries. You can miss Torii Hunter running into walls; I'll miss him getting up, checking his ribs and staying in the game.
This spring, Hunter hinted he would be leaving the Twins. This summer, Hunter all but confirmed that he'd be leaving the Twins. This fall, Hunter stopped pretending he would return to the Twins.
So can those awaiting daily updates on Hunter's status please grasp that he won't be back?
You can argue that the Pohlads are making a public relations blunder in letting him leave, that the new stadium should allow the Twins to afford to keep their best players, that without Hunter the Twins' lineup will be weaker than decaf.
You wouldn't be wrong -- you'd just be too late.
I was the one who asked Vikings safety Dwight Smith why he was laughing on the sideline near the end of a historic loss at Green Bay.
He asked me to understand that he was just joking around at the workplace like any of us.
Question: How many people do you know at the top of their profession who laugh uproariously during terrible performances? I didn't know any, until I met Dwight Smith.
Wolves gunner Antoine Walker is complaining, saying "I have no idea what my role is. I wish somebody would come tell me."
Consider it done. Your role is to either play well enough that the Wolves can trade you, or to sit on the bench and keep quiet. If anyone's going to jack up errant three-pointers, let it be Corey Brewer.
The last two starting quarterbacks the Vikings ran out of town -- Daunte Culppeper and Brad Johnson -- aren't starting for their teams, and yet they'd still be the best quarterbacks on the Vikings' roster.
It was suggested in this space last year that the Vikings should sign Johnson to a long-term contract. Compare this year's quarterback numbers to what Johnson did last year, and factor in a half-dozen potential touchdown passes Johnson threw that were dropped by Troy Williamson and Co.,, and that would have been a wise decision -- although not as wise as signing someone like Jeff Garcia.
In the current predicament, Jackson should start the rest of the year. The Vikings need to be able to make an informed decision on his future.
We think of hockey players as hard-working, team-oriented athletes, and the Wild's Wes Walz fit the description.
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