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Continued: Banquet packs 'em in; winner drives 'em out

  • Article by: PATRICK REUSSE , Star Tribune
  • Last update: November 22, 2006 - 10:00 PM

Linda Koblick and Penny Steele: What's more juvenile for a Hennepin County commissioner: Koblick still refusing to talk to a colleague who voted for the tax to finance a Twins stadium, or Weepin' Penny weeping every time there was a debate on the issue?

Jay Mariotti: The Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist shows up every afternoon on ESPN making a fool of himself, then we find out this summer -- during the brouhaha with Ozzie Guillen -- that he hasn't had time to visit the White Sox clubhouse in a decade.

M & M & M boys: Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer? Of course not. These are the permanent seats of honor for the U's Joel Maturi, Glen Mason and Dan Monson.

Phyllis Kahn: This legislator was so concerned about the youth of America in years back that she wanted 12-year-olds to have the right to vote. And then DeLaSalle, the oldest tenant on Nicollet Island, sought a permit to build a small football field next to the high school. Phyllis lives down there and turned into a raving hypocrite -- a wild-eyed foe of a facility to benefit the diverse student body of her city's only Catholic high school.

And now move aside for the head table:

Second runner-up: Zygi Wilf. Look out down there on Nicollet Island, Phyllis. That might be the next place the Vikings owner and crazed New Jersey developer wants to take his stadium dream.

One big problem Zygmunt's maneuvering has created: The only way to fund a Vikings stadium would be with a referendum for a seven-county tax, and he has managed to alienate Anoka County to the tune of about 95 percent against in such a vote.

First runner-up: Don Lucia. When his underage hockey players were caught on tape drinking, Lucia said they were "violated." When his big-budget Gophers were eliminated in a first-round upset by non-entity Holy Cross, he didn't have the good taste to be embarrassed. And then Lucia's lackeys whispered negatives about the departing Phil Kessel, who had been ballyhooed a few months earlier as the best recruit in program history.

Lucia would have been worthy of the Herschel, except there was a coaching colleague at Minnesota who had a more impressive end-of-season collapse.

As most Turkey followers must have anticipated, the 29th Grand Turkey is Pam Borton, the basketball coach of the U of M women.

Borton's 2006 seniors went backward in their play, then the underclassmen bailed faster than an audience at a Michael Richards standup routine. In four years, Borton has taken the team she inherited from 14,000 people screaming inside Williams Arena to a following that would fit comfortably next door in the Sports Pavilion.

Borton's Herschel also has huge gender-equity implications. She's only the second woman -- along with gymnast Kerri Strug in 1996 -- to be a Grand Turkey.

The chairman is so emotional over this he's about to weep like Penny Steele.

Patrick Reusse can be heard weekdays on KSTP (1500 AM) at 6:45 and 7:45 a.m. and 4:40 p.m. preusse@startribune.com

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  • Previous turkey winners

    Wednesday November 22, 2006

    • 1978: Woody Hayes• 1979: Pete Rozelle and Bowie Kuhn• 1980: Bobby Knight• 1981: George Steinbrenner• 1982: Billy Martin• 1983:...

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NY Yankees - LP: M. Pineda 0 FINAL
Toronto - WP: D. Hutchison 2
Detroit - LP: M. Scherzer 3 FINAL
Chicago WSox - WP: C. Sale 6
Chicago Cubs - WP: F. Doubront 5 FINAL
St. Louis - LP: J. Masterson 1
Cincinnati - LP: A. Simon 2 FINAL
Pittsburgh - WP: V. Worley 3
Minnesota 2 Top 8th Inning
Baltimore 3
Philadelphia 7 Bottom 9th Inning
NY Mets 2
Miami 4 Bottom 9th Inning
Atlanta 0
Boston 0 Top 9th Inning
Tampa Bay 7
Cleveland 1 Bottom 8th Inning
Kansas City 0
Detroit 5 Top 9th Inning
Chicago WSox 4
Texas - LP: P. Klein 0 FINAL
Houston - WP: S. Feldman 2
Colorado 1 Top 8th Inning
Arizona 0
Chicago Cubs 1 Bottom 5th Inning
St. Louis 1
Los Angeles 0 Bottom 5th Inning
San Diego 1
Milwaukee 0 Bottom 4th Inning
San Francisco 0
Oakland 0 Top 4th Inning
LA Angels 0
Washington 2 Bottom 3rd Inning
Seattle 0
Green Bay 9/4/14 7:30 PM
Seattle
BYU 35 FINAL
Connecticut 10
(6) Jacksonville St 7 FINAL
(8) Michigan State 45
Bowling Green 31 FINAL
Western Ky 59
TX-San Antonio 27 FINAL
Houston 7
Colorado State 31 FINAL
Colorado 17
UNLV 13 FINAL
Arizona 58
Penn State 26 FINAL
UCF 24
Troy 10 FINAL
UAB 48
(7) UCLA 28 FINAL
Virginia 20
Western Mich 34 FINAL
Purdue 43
(5) Ohio State 34 FINAL
Navy 17
Appalachian St 14 FINAL
Michigan 52
Ga Southern 23 FINAL
NC State 24
Boston College 30 FINAL
Massachusetts 7
West Virginia 23 FINAL
(2) Alabama 33
Rice 17 FINAL
(17) Notre Dame 48
(10) South Dakota St 18 FINAL
(24) Missouri 38
Fla Atlantic 7 FINAL
(22) Nebraska 55
California 31 FINAL
Northwestern 24
Marshall 42 FINAL
Miami-Ohio 27
UC Davis 0 FINAL
(11) Stanford 45
Arkansas 21 FINAL
(6) Auburn 45
(16) Clemson 21 FINAL
(12) Georgia 45
Liberty 29 FINAL
(23) North Carolina 56
Ohio U 17 FINAL
Kent State 14
Louisiana Tech 10 4th Qtr 14:00
(4) Oklahoma 47
Stephen F Austin 16 4th Qtr 13:13
(20) Kansas State 45
Fresno State 13 3rd Qtr 4:21
(15) USC 45
Southern Miss 0 3rd Qtr 5:02
Miss State 42
Texas-El Paso 24 3rd Qtr 9:45
New Mexico 7
North Texas 0 3rd Qtr 8:42
Texas 28
(1) Florida State 17 3rd Qtr 15:00
Oklahoma State 10
(14) Wisconsin 10 2nd Qtr
(13) LSU 7
Idaho 0 Delayed 14:50
Florida 0
South Dakota 9:30 PM
(3) Oregon
(25) Washington 9:30 PM
Hawaii
Utah State 8/31/14 6:00 PM
Tennessee
SMU 8/31/14 6:30 PM
(10) Baylor
Miami-Florida 9/1/14 7:00 PM
Louisville
Arizona 9/4/14 7:00 PM
TX-San Antonio
Pittsburgh 9/5/14 6:00 PM
Boston College
Washington St 9/5/14 9:30 PM
Nevada
SMU 9/6/14 11:00 AM
North Texas
Fla Atlantic 9/6/14 11:00 AM
(2) Alabama
Buffalo 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Army
(24) Missouri 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Toledo
Arkansas State 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Tennessee
(8) McNeese State 9/6/14 11:00 AM
(22) Nebraska
Central Mich 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Purdue
Akron 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Penn State
Western Ill 9/6/14 11:00 AM
(14) Wisconsin
(20) Kansas State 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Iowa State
(4) Oklahoma 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Tulsa
Western Ky 9/6/14 11:00 AM
Illinois
SC State 9/6/14 11:30 AM
(16) Clemson
Navy 9/6/14 12:00 PM
Temple
UAB 9/6/14 1:00 PM
Miss State
South Alabama 9/6/14 1:00 PM
Kent State
New Mexico St 9/6/14 1:00 PM
Georgia State
Colorado 9/6/14 2:00 PM
Massachusetts
Fresno State 9/6/14 2:00 PM
Utah
(1) Eastern Wash 9/6/14 2:00 PM
(25) Washington
(15) USC 9/6/14 2:30 PM
(11) Stanford
Ohio U 9/6/14 2:30 PM
Kentucky
Middle Tennessee 9/6/14 2:30 PM
Minnesota
Northern Ill 9/6/14 2:30 PM
Northwestern
Missouri State 9/6/14 2:30 PM
Oklahoma State
Ball State 9/6/14 2:30 PM
Iowa
Maryland 9/6/14 2:30 PM
So Florida
Eastern Mich 9/6/14 3:00 PM
Florida
Georgia Tech 9/6/14 3:00 PM
Tulane
(18) Ole Miss 9/6/14 3:30 PM
Vanderbilt
Old Dominion 9/6/14 5:00 PM
NC State
(8) Michigan State 9/6/14 5:30 PM
(3) Oregon
(19) Arizona State 9/6/14 6:00 PM
New Mexico
Louisiana Tech 9/6/14 6:00 PM
Louisiana
San Jose St 9/6/14 6:00 PM
(6) Auburn
East Carolina 9/6/14 6:00 PM
(9) So Carolina
Duke 9/6/14 6:00 PM
Troy
Idaho 9/6/14 6:00 PM
ULM
(17) Sam Houston St 9/6/14 6:30 PM
(13) LSU
Michigan 9/6/14 6:30 PM
(17) Notre Dame
Lamar 9/6/14 6:30 PM
(21) Texas A&M
Northwestern St 9/6/14 6:30 PM
(10) Baylor
BYU 9/6/14 6:30 PM
Texas
Citadel 9/6/14 6:30 PM
(1) Florida State
San Diego St 9/6/14 7:00 PM
(23) North Carolina
Virginia Tech 9/6/14 7:00 PM
(5) Ohio State
Memphis 9/6/14 9:00 PM
(7) UCLA
Colorado State 9/6/14 9:15 PM
Boise State
Air Force 9/6/14 9:15 PM
Wyoming
Oregon State 9/6/14 9:30 PM
Hawaii
Texas Tech 9/6/14 10:00 PM
Texas-El Paso
Colorado 0 FINAL
Seattle 1
New England 3 FINAL
Toronto FC 0
Columbus 0 FINAL
Montreal 2
FC Dallas 0 2nd Half 25:00
Chicago 0
Real Salt Lake 9:30 PM
San Jose
Portland 9:30 PM
Vancouver FC
Ottawa 10 FINAL
Montreal 20
Winnipeg 8/31/14 3:00 PM
Saskatchewan
Toronto 9/1/14 12:00 PM
Hamilton
Edmonton 9/1/14 3:30 PM
Calgary
Brt Columbia 9/5/14 6:30 PM
Ottawa
Calgary 9/6/14 6:00 PM
Edmonton
Hamilton 9/7/14 12:00 PM
Montreal
Saskatchewan 9/7/14 3:00 PM
Winnipeg
Chicago 70 FINAL
Indiana 77

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