Looking relieved, Brad Childress took the podium. "We all know why we're here today, so let's get right to it," Childress said. "After listening to the expert analysis provided by ESPN, Fox, NBC, the View, and anyone else I may have forgotten, the Minnesota Vikings will forfeit this year's divisional playoff game to the Dallas Cowboys. If this year's playoffs have proven anything, it's that those guys are never wrong. So, in a stream of consciousness, it came to me: forfeit is the only logical answer. We've had a heckuva run, but as Kenny Rogers would say, you've got to know when to fold 'em. Wade Phillips and Tony Romo have now won one playoff game in a row. The pressure is completely off. The Dallas market understands that just making the playoffs is a tremendous accomplishment. They are just happy to be there. And they have the benefit of playing for an unbelievably patient and reasonable owner. Last week's playoff victory should have been all that Coach Phillips needed to ensure job security for a long time. All that momentum and unconditional support is too much to overcome. My hat's off to them and I wish them the best of luck - not that they'll need it - through the rest of playoffs."
Although an unprecedented move, the Vikings stood unanimously behind their head coach's decision. "There's no question it was the right decision," said Jared Allen. "As an expert air calf roper, I know a little something about Cowboys. And these guys are the real deal. You ever heard of John Wayne? How about Robocop? Well, imagine the 2 of them - combined. And that's what that team is - 53 Robo-Waynes. Coach Childress definitely made the right decision. It probably saved lives."
Brett Favre added, "Have you heard how good their defense is? Sure we have Percy, Sidney, and Shank, but you have to be able to run the ball to open up the passing game. We saw on film how they shut down an extremely potent Eagles' rushing attack. And if Lesean McCoy can't run on that defense, what chance does Adrian Peterson have?" When asked if he might return next year, Favre replied, "I don't know. I need to take some time. Step away from the game for a bit. I'll defintely know in a couple months. No later than June. By the opening day of training camp for sure. Mid-August at the absolute latest. Well, probably anyways."
I can't say I disagree with any of these sentiments. It's about time that NFL teams started listening more to the national media. It's not like they make predictions by whichever way the wind is blowing at the time. Because many teams had "impressive" (since half of the league is terrible, a good team could easily run off multiple victories) winning streaks, the media could have easily fallen prey to changing their opinion on "best team" multiple times. Thankfully, they are all too level-headed and objective for that, never falling for the flavor of the month. I am just glad that the Vikings had the good sense to heed their advice, and avoid the folly of taking on such an impossible task.