Born out of a series of Tweets by @RandBallsStu (#hirestu), an idea by your humble proprietor and a sick thirst to rile up Packers fans for no good reason, we present another installment of “The Increasingly Lost Season.” Stu will continue, tongue-in-cheek, to explain the Packers’ misfortunes as they inevitably tumble into Randy Wright-esque putridity. Stu?
In the gloaming of a crisp, autumn Sunday night in Denver, an aging quarterback, his last Super Bowl well in the rearview mirror, had a chance to show and prove against an undefeated contender.
But enough about Aaron Rodgers.
The Denver Broncos and Peyton Manning cruised to a 29-10 victory over the Green Bay Packers, rushing and passing at will. The fierce Broncos defense smothered the undersized Rodgers to the tune of 77 yards passing. If that number looks familiar, that’s because it’s how far out of bounds you have to be before Clay Matthews won’t cheap shot you after the whistle.
Some might say that it shouldn’t be surprising that a team which has embraced, and been embraced by, the godless Hollywood elite would falter in Tebow’s House. And while it’s hard to ignore that the starstruck Pack is more interested in making time with Anna Kendrick than making America great again, that’s just conjecture which, however accurate, we cannot endorse. What we can endorse is PANIC.
This victory, which was shocking only to people who ignored Green Bay getting fat and happy against the dregs of the NFL, is sounding alarms from Prairie du Chien to Solon Springs. There aren’t any receivers. The defense is, somehow, worse. Aaron Rodgers is getting neither younger nor taller. It’s a mess.
Unlike the past couple seasons, when a weak division allowed Green Bay to fail upwards in the playoffs, the plucky Minnesota Vikings are breathing down their neck, a mere one game back in the NFC North. Like the Packers, the Vikings have played a relatively mild schedule and lost to Denver on the road. Unlike the Packers, the Vikings made Denver break a sweat, and seem well aware that the tough schedule ahead will require playing better, not clinging to past glory. It remains to be seen which path Green Bay will take.
Things don’t get easier for the rattled Pack this week, as they travel to Carolina to tangle with the still-undefeated Panthers. Like Rodgers, Cam Newton lost his best receiver to injury. Unlike his tinier counterpart, Newton has chosen to make plays instead of excuses.
Can the Packers stop the bleeding? In an increasingly lost season, it’s hard to say yes.