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Six things to ignore on the Internet today

  • Blog Post by: James Lileks
  • January 15, 2014 - 12:27 PM

Well, let’s take a look at what I’m not going to read on the Internet today because stupid. As they say.

I think this qualifies as the sort of thing most people can handle, although they probably don’t want to, if the puppies haven’t been properly trained. Reminder: this was probably written by someone who can vote. I think it also defines what sort of job you have: if you can stop everything to look at Vines of dog butts, very little you do matters very much. Doctor! What are you doing? We have to stop the bleeding now! There's no time for that, nurse. I have to look at these dog rears. But you might not be able to handle it!  You know how you collapsed after looking at the GIFs of llama babies! I'm willing to take that chance. 

Next:

Doubtful I don’t know all 25. Using “King of the World” was a surprising addition, wasn’t it? Probably something about how the line was ad-libbed. One of the reasons it's so clunky. 

Next:

Stop telling me what to do. Bonus demerits for using the “probably were afraid to ask” cliche from 1972. There is not a single element of French cooking about which I cannot ask because of some strange fear that grips my tongue and stills my voice.

Next:

Since the object in the picture doesn’t make me frown and wonder “what’s that?” the answer is probably no.

Next:

Nope; saw it. Next:

Uh huh. Better close comments before the cops show up. Next: Talking dog? Yes please.

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