Ask Amy: Gracious groom merits a medal

  • Article by: AMY DICKINSON
  • July 13, 2013 - 2:00 PM

Dear Readers: I’m marking my 10-year anniversary of writing the “Ask Amy” column by rerunning some of my favorite Q-and-A’s. Today’s column is devoted to giving.

Dear Amy: I got married six months ago. My wife and I sent out some thank-you cards promptly, but with a recent big move, working and trying to find a home, we have misplaced our list, and I do not know how to handle writing the rest of the cards. I can remember only some of the gifts. What should I do about the rest?

Amy says: First, let me bestow upon you the Ask Amy Medal of Gratitude and Good Intentions. It goes only to grooms who ask thank-you card questions.

I think it’s best to employ a combination of charm and honesty. First you should rack your brains to try to re- create your gift list. Then call your folks and your wife’s folks, as well as bridal attendants. If you registered at a store, it could help you track down some givers.

Then you need to contact each guest whose gifts you’re unsure of. Write a note saying you and your wife have lost track of your gift list. Say something to the effect of, “We are trying to figure out which fabulous gift came from you, and rather than call in ‘CSI: Matrimony’ to dust for prints, we wonder if you could confirm what you gave us so that we can thank you properly. This is pretty embarrassing, but we hope you’ll understand.”

I think people will be tickled you are trying to get this straight. I am. (2005)

Not charitable about donations

Dear Amy: I attend church weekly. My husband and I have a combined income of $70,000 to $75,000 a year, and we contribute $20 weekly in the collection.

I am amazed at the number of people who put a $1 bill in the basket. The money has to pay the priest or minister, keep the air conditioning working and pay the mortgage, among other things.

This criticism is not meant for seniors. It is meant for the singles and families who can afford to pay more than $1.

Amy says: According to my calculations, you are contributing 1.4 percent of your income to your church. That is well below the 10 percent you would be contributing if you were tithing.

I mention this because snooping in the collection plate is not only unseemly but also misleading. Many regular churchgoers send considerable checks for operating expenses. Some demonstrate stewardship through volunteering.

By joining the stewardship committee, you would be in a position to encourage others to give. (2004)

Send questions via e-mail to Amy Dickinson at

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