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Duck!

  • Blog Post by: James Lileks
  • June 4, 2013 - 11:58 AM

How’s your day going? Better than this:

 

 

SCIENCE! Space, to be specific. If you’re wondering how many pixels it takes to get a good picture of the heavens, here’s a hint:

Immler presented a 160-megapixel mosaic image of the Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) and a 57-megapixel mosaic image of the Small Magellanic Cloud (SMC)at the 222nd American Astronomical Society meeting in Indianapolis on Monday.

We don’t see the Magellanic Clouds in the Northern Hemisphere. Too bad:

Go here for the HD video, and some instruction about the stars. NO, you say. No, I want to laugh at someone who lacks the elemental self-awareness and parental supervision that would prevent him from making his name and face synonymous for all time with an embarrassing song. Sigh. Okay.Apparently this is going around Facebook, as people share the awfulness of the Official Music Video. It’s called “Goodbye.” Comments are closed.

Wise move.

 

Proof that autotune cannot solve everything. Warning: contains some naughty words, but it’s doubtful you’ll get that far.

 

FEEDBUZZ It's a parody of BuzzFeed. This I don’t get:

Despite the name, Lamagna's original intention in creating FeedBuzz was not to lacerate BuzzFeed itself. By his own admission, Lamagna had been only passingly familiar with BuzzFeed.

 "If you asked me, 'What's the name of the website with bad lists?' I would probably say 'Cracked.com' before I said 'BuzzFeed,'" he told the Daily Dot via email.

Huh? Cracked is actually funny. The writers on Cracked can carry an idea longer than 14 words before erupting INTO ALL CAPS BECAUSE REASONS or something like that. The day BuzzFeed does something as detailed as “5 Places You’ll Recognize from the Background of Every Movie” is the day the editor walks through the office and fires everyone who even looks likely to write “16 Pugs Who Are Dealing with Game of Thrones Better Than You Right Now.”

 

O CANADA Saw this on Gawker, but why link there? You’ll get a photo full of annotations that realize your day wasn’t complete until you realized that someone on the internet wondered what that pot was doing outside when nothing was growing in it. Anyway, from the National Post:

Briar MacLean was sitting in class during a study period Tuesday, the teacher was on the other side of the room and, as Grade 7 bullies are wont to do, one kid started harassing another.

 “I was in between two desks and he was poking and prodding the guy,” Briar, 13, said at the kitchen table of his Calgary home Friday.

 “He put him in a headlock, and I saw that.”

 He added he didn’t see the knife, but “I heard the flick, and I heard them say there was a knife.”

He got up and pushed the bully away, and of course got in trouble for participating in an altercation. The police were called and his locker was searched. Perhaps they found an empty box of doughnuts, which contains the letters you need to spell “gun.” The kid who pushed away the knife-wielding bully, of course. I’m sure the bully got in trouble too, but it’s hardly fair he be singled out, is it? You can’t have a fight without a victim, so responsibility has to be shared.

The mother asked the teacher:

‘In the time it would have taken him to go get a teacher, could that kid’s throat have been slit?’ She said yes, but that’s beside the point.

Exactly. Fighting is wrong, that’s the point.

The Calgary Board of Education did not respond to a request for comment.

Of course not! Why should they?

 

BREAKING NEWS: CARTOONISTS CRITICIZED SUBURBS IN 1979 I know, I know: hard to wrap your brain around that, but it gets worst. Robert Crumb was the critic! Architezer, for some reason, runs the cartoon, and notes:

Robert Crumb, the cartoonist famous for his interest in American folk art as well as his biting critiques of contemporary culture, portrays the history of America as completely subsumed in its legacy of land speculation and development. In the cartoon above, a bucolic landscape quickly turns into the strip-mall-lined and traffic-choked roadways that architects like Robert Venturi once celebrated.

Well. First of all, Crumb is famous for his interest in enormous female hindquarters, too; let’s not pretend he’s some sort of urban theorist because he drew pictures of buildings. Anyway, Crumb’s not showing a suburb, as the headline for the story asserts. It’s obviously the oldest part of a city, with a commercial node near train tracks. The last panel might not be the most lovely view. So? Change and decay make some things uglier. You can fix a spot in the sequence where things seem sensible and bucolic, and there’s a settled solidity to the culture. Also slavery and 45-year life expectancies. The article, for no reason I can imagine, goes on:

The type of urban succession that Crumb simulates in the drawing has prompted widespread reaction in the architecture community in recent years, from the neoliberal fever dream that is New Urbanism to a more generalized reinvestment in center cities. Nonetheless, the object of Crumb’s 1979 critique must still be dealt with in a comprehensive way, as the 2008-2009 foreclosure crisis—driven by suburban land speculation and succession—shows most clearly.

Here’s the edited version.

 

 

Deal with it! Comprehensively! Question: why is this The Short History of America, and the street along Central Park that includes the Metropolitan Museum of Art isn't? Because pointing out a beautiful accomplishment would be shallow; pointing out something ugly is deep. 

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