For the holiday, this site will temporarily suspend its war against headlines that use the "X Things You Don't Know" or "X Ways You're Doing it Wrong" or any other variant of the YOU format. We bring you: Eight Things You May Not Know About Memorial Day.

At least they had the decency to say "may."

BREAKING: there is, as of this posting, trace amounts of sunshine spilling through the clouds. But it's still cold. It will warm up, but it will remain cloudy. Then there will be sun, but it will be cool. When will it be sunny and clear? Computer models say NEVER. Sorry; this year, as I keep saying, is broken. Did anyone buy the extra warranty? No? Well, shoot.