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Commenter Stu Presents: The Increasingly Lost Packers Offseason, Draft Edition

  • Blog Post by: Michael Rand
  • May 3, 2013 - 1:30 PM

 

Born out of a series of Tweets by commenter @RandBallsStu, an idea by your humble proprietor and a sick thirst to rile up Packers fans for no good reason, we present a special offseason edition of "The Increasingly Lost Season." Stu will continue, tongue-in-cheek, to explain the Packers' misfortunes as they tumble from 15-1 Super Bowl repeat team of destiny to Randy Wright-esque putridity. (AP Photo of Clarence Swamptown in the year 2035 after a series of unfortunate events).

 

Stu?

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It’s been almost four months since the Packers’ lost 2012 season was put out of its misery by the Minnesota Vikings and San Francisco 49ers. In that time, have they done the things necessary to rescue a team that is dangerously close to irrelevance? In an increasingly lost off-season, that answer is a resounding, “No.”

Superior NFC North teams like the Minnesota Vikings and Chicago Bears use the draft to rebuild and reload. The Packers apparently chose to just pick some big dudes and see everyone at training camp, another troubling case for Ted Thompson just being checked out on this job.
 
While Green Bay has needs just about everywhere, thanks to the front office’s dereliction, nowhere is there a more glaring need for talent than a secondary now without Charles Woodson. How many safeties did they take? Zero. By comparison, when the Vikings needed a safety last year, a true teambuilder like Rick Spielman traded up to get future star Harrison Smith.
 
In another mystifying move, the Pack addressed their non-existent running game with a running back, Eddie Lacy, who has turf toe, a partially torn hamstring and can’t do a bench-press. Was anyone in their “war room” even awake? Or was the “war room” the all-you-can-eat wing buffet, and the intern tasked with calling in the pick was just supposed to take a running back, any running back, then bring back some more ranch dressing? Troubling on so many levels.
 
Of course, clearly botching the NFL Draft wasn’t going to be enough for this star-crossed franchise, so they threw a 5-year, $110 million extension at Aaron Rodgers, because when you can break the bank on an undersized quarterback who turns 30 in December, you have to do it. Even if Rodgers stays healthy and goes to Germany for an experimental, platelet-rich growth spurt procedure, the Packers let Greg Jennings leave (to their division betters in Minnesota, no less!) and kept human drop clinic Jermichael Finley. Plus, it’s a day ending in “y,” so I assume Jordy Nelson has hurt himself doing something and will miss most of training camp. 
 
But at least they have Don Barclay!
 

Is there reason for optimism? Of course there is. They need only look at their NFC North rivals in Minnesota, where shrewd front-office maneuvering after a lost 3-13 season resulted in a 10-6 playoff team. But there’s the rub: is Green Bay’s front office capable of that kind of bold thinking and talent evaluation? In an increasingly lost off-season, I have my doubts.

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