. . . and we hope there never will be. If Dunder-Mifflin could come up with something like this, they'd be the talk of the industry.

MOVIES This is really good news:

Great. Robert Harris' novel about Pompeii might be the best thing ever written on the subject - a detailed, thriving, fascinating resurrection of a culture both familiar and foreign.

Oh, wait - this is less than good news.

So it's not based on Harris' novel. His hero was an engineer, which gave the story a cerebral cast; you came to understand the city from sewers to rooftop. A gladiator? Really. A woman unwillingly betrothed, in Roman times? That's how it was done. That's how social, business, and political relations were forged. So this is going to be about Maximus fighting his way through 3D rocks and lava flows to rescue his girlfriend. Hmm.

Oh, now this is really bad news:

Oh, to hell with it.

Also, there won't be a Bioshock movie. Just as well. It would have been horrible. All video game movies are horrible, right? If you say "No, no, 'Resident Evil'" then you'll be happy with "Pompeii." Same director.

ART This might not be the most enticing description of an art project:

If you think "buncha snooty hoo-hah, that" and decide you wouldn't click on that if it was the last link on earth, well, that would be a mistake. It's Grown-ups photoshopped to look like toddlers. Worth it. (via petapixel.)

Also, if you liked the Mad-Men 60s-style illustrations discussed a few days, try this: "LA's Greatest Architectural Builds That Never Were. " Some cool stuff. Also some of this:

It took me a while, but I finally realized what Frank Gehry's building reminded me of.

STOP THIS CRAZY THING Matt Novak has been looking at every episode of "The Jetsons" with an eye towards the design and its impact on our conception of the future. He's serious. I'm serious; it's good stuff.

Off to finish a column; see you around.