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Newly married AND a winner: Christian Ponder has been 2-0 since saying 'I do.’

Jerry Holt, Star Tribune

We’re having a baby. Yes, Kimye are pregnant. Yes, she’s married to someone else.

Alan Diaz, Associated Press

Newly married AND funny: Samantha Steele has a wicked wit online – #nojoke.

Duncan Williams, Associated Press

C.J.: No name game here: She takes 'Ponder'

  • Article by: C.J.
  • Star Tribune
  • January 2, 2013 - 11:57 PM

The Vikings' newfound good luck charm is apparently going to be known in her professional life as Samantha Ponder.

There was little doubt that Vikings QB Christian Ponder's new wife would be Mrs. Ponder in her private life. But some were surprised Tuesday when the former Samantha Steele, while working the sidelines for ESPN during the Capital One Bowl, was introduced as Samantha Ponder.

I stumbled upon this introduction quite by accident, having inadvertently recorded 30 minutes of the bowl game in which Georgia defeated Nebraska.

I did not notice her ring finger, but a Strib colleague who did said the main rock, from Continental Diamond, is Super Bowl-ring big.

Mrs. Ponder has updated her Twitter account. The verified page belonging to the woman who now identifies herself as "Sam Ponder" maintains a connection to her maiden name, being reachable via Twitter "@Samantha_Steele."

Mrs. Ponder looks like an angel, but her tweets convey a wicked sense of humor:

"Want every day to be Friday and be skinnier than ALL your friends?! It'll cost you 24.99! instagr.am #noididntbuythatcrap."

In another tweet Sam wrote: "Day 1 of 'eat like a woman, not a football player.' Have 2 hrs before my flight w/ Chick fil A next to a Krispy Kreme. The devil is real, folks."

She probably also knows, as a member of the media, that we are sometimes the devil, too.

Take Rodney Harrison's remarks about Mr. Ponder on NBC's "Football Night in America" after the Vikings' astonishing Sunday win over the Packers.

Tony Dungy noted that Adrian Peterson has "been around 200 yards each time he's played" the Packers in 2012.

Said Harrison: "But Adrian Peterson can't throw the football. Christian Ponder played great tonight, but I don't believe in him moving forward."

Harrison showed no appreciation for the record showing the QB at 2-0 since taking a Mrs.

Kim and Kanye, with child

The duo known as Kimye is having a babye, and it's all so very tackye.

Kim Kardashian, the reality show star, and Kanye West, the rapper, apparently just couldn't wait until after the matter of HER DIVORCE from Kris Humphries, the NBA player.

What we have here, folks, is the makings of a new fanged-flick franchise. It seems that just like vampires, those Kardashian reality shows need new life -- new blood, if you will -- continually supplied by the men passing through Kim's life. Of course, by fathering a baby, West attains a certain reality immortality that Kim's previous leading men have not enjoyed.

It's still tacky, tacky, tacky, if not downright trashy.

But is it tackier than filing for divorce 72 days after your lavish, money-making, made-for-TV marriage ceremony? Or interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance of a VMA to declare that Beyonce deserved that hardware instead? Or announcing the blessed event from the stage in a shout-out to your "baby momma"?

Or impregnating a married woman?

Their urgent need to procreate looks like another endorsement of Humphries' claims for an annulment: That the marriage was a big fraud perpetrated by Kardashian.

Thanks to the Kardashian way, we will be treated to every twinge of this pregnancy, about which Kim is already whining. "I haven't had any morning sickness, but it still isn't the easiest," she repined to Us Weekly. "It's not as easy as people think. It is a little painful," she whined to "Entertainment Tonight."

Kardashian's about 12 weeks along, labor pains are months away -- and I may need an epidural to get through Kim's pregnancy.

Revenge movies?

Political satirist Lizz Winstead is angling to be in whatever women's revenge-fantasy movie Quentin Tarantino may write.

I was talking about having seen most of the blood-spurting "Django Unchained" while driving Winstead to Tandoor in Bloomington. A year ago, when I told Winstead to meet me at that restaurant, she arrived and realized this venue was a favorite of her late dad, Windy Winstead, who like her late mom, Ginny Winstead, starred on "The Daily Show," co-created by Lizz. Tandoor has become our restaurant of choice when we get together during Winstead's annual trips to Minneapolis to perform NYE shows at the Parkway Theater.

Although I normally avoid Tarantino's violent movies, I told Winstead I had to see this movie about the bounty hunter slave.

"Now that Tarantino has made the revenge slavery movie and the revenge movie against Nazis with 'Inglourious Basterds,' I want to be in revenge women's movie," laughed Winstead.

She's not kidding. She tweeted that at @LizzWinstead a few days before telling me of her dream movie role. "I'll play any role just to be in that movie," she said.

Winstead didn't play the part of "good patient" when she was here. She was nursing a knee injury for which she would not take meds. She tripped and fell while shaking her fist at Brooklyn's Barclays Center, which gets cursed every time she walks by the new nuisance in her neighborhood.

Despite the pain, she did all her shows standing, disregarding the doctor's recommendation that she sit while on stage.

Ginny Winstead would have been extra proud of Lizz's look back at the year in politics. Mrs. Winstead adored congresswoman Michele Bachmann, while Lizz does not. Inexplicably, Lizz got a picture with Bachmann at the State Fair that got one of the biggest laughs during her NYE shows. We discuss that and other political stuff in my upcoming Sunday Q&A with the satirist.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen Thursday mornings on Fox 9.

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