Post-Halloween Candy Survey

  • Blog Post by: $author
  • November 1, 2012 - 12:05 PM

This is the worst day ever, Daughter moaned this morning. Halloween was over - forever. Her peer group has decided that this was the last year for trick-or-treating, since they’re all too old for that kid stuff. For younger kids it’s also the Worst Day Ever, since all that build-up, all that enthusiasm, is spent. Done. Over. From the cold bus window they saw all the Halloween decorations on the yards, the busted pumpkins. November. Endless November.

On the other hand, candy! We did the usual triage, setting aside the unwanted candies from the high-quality items. Nerds: kids don’t want Nerds anymore. Last year it seemed as if everyone passed out Nerds. No more. A Now & Later, hard as a Hebron brick. One Payday bar, which baffles most kids; they’re included in the bag of Mixed Items, and you suspect Payday’s in there because the company’s biggest investor loves Paydays, and they have to keep it around to keep him happy. One $100 Grand bar - I recall when they rolled that one out. It was called the $100,000 bar back then, and all the kids were excited. To be present during the release of a new candy bar seemed as special as witnessing Halley’s Comet. (An exhaustively illustrated history of the bar can be found here.)

Otherwise, it was all the familiar staples. Milky Way, Snickers, 3 Musketeers, Kit Kat, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Nothing will dislodge them from the candy pantheon. Wide brand-recognition and the Taste Kids Love = immortality.

Fading this year: Twix. Holding steady: Whoppers.

I don’t know what we’re going to do with this stuff. We don’t eat a lot of candy. It’s not like it’s something you can work into daily meals.

If you can, I don’t want to know about it.


RANDOM Boris Yeltsin, Gangnam Style. Why not.




I always liked Boris. Met him once, briefly, in a receiving line in Washington DC. He kept his hands clenched a lot, perhaps as a deep-seated need to conceal the injuries he sustained when a grenade winnowed down the finger count on his left mitt. Or maybe it just saved time in post-Soviet politics to keep your fists pre-balled for easy use.

SCIENCE! Studies show that what you eat affects your politics. No, wait, politics affect what you eat. It has to be true! Studies are involved. Excerpts:




It’s using data from Trendsetter! Which is what?

Trendsetter measures how early and active you are in connecting with the things you care about on Facebook

Oh. Go away please. Note to anyone: if you care about something, and care about it on Facebook, and care about whether you’re early and active in connecting to the Cared Object, and whether this makes you a Trendsetter, well, you have our deepest sympathies.


The obligatory BuzzFeed article, which has the entire chart here,  says:

This summer, Ruffini's team mapped the politics of the social web. This week — starting with two graphics, on food brands and food chains — Engage will roll out 12 new infographics.


"Americans have tended to associate more with like-minded people from across the country and the globe, and less with the person who lives right next door," said Ruffini. "Nowhere is this tendency stronger than on Facebook."

That’s the saddest thing I’ve read all day. I’m referring to the line about rolling out 12 new infographics. That’s someone’s job. Must set the alarm half an hour early - I’m rolling out an infographic today.

Also science-related:


Really? If that's an average, it must include guys at the Jersey Shore; factor out that back hair, and it probably drops to 24 feet per week. 

Annnd just to put you off your candy:



I don't believe that either. But it's science, so it must be true. More here

Off to write a column; see you around. 

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