I am hot.

Over the course of the past month or so our boys have made it their mission every single waking hour of every single day to dismantle our air conditioner. They work together like a well oiled machine. The front cover is pried off by my middle sons nimble fingers. The filter is tossed over the baby gate or sent sliding under the couch by my youngest. And maybe worst of all, my oldest turns it OFF!

No cold air for me.

It's like living with three tiny dictators who have a thing for the hot and humid.

(I'd question their maternity if not for the fact that I was there when they were born.)

This past weekend I said enough was enough- there was no better place to put the unit, so instead of waiting for the real destruction to begin, we took it down. It's the end of August after all. Things should be getting a little more bearable here.

(Don't remind me about last summer- I am blocking it out to save my sanity.)

So here I sit and daydream about my favorite things to beat the heat.


- Cold beer. I fancy myself a craft beer snob and usually tend towards the warm and spicy. This summer I have broken all of my rules and watched happily as my husband bought home case after case of ice cold American lager. Coors, MGD, Miller High Life, Grain Belty, ou name it. I haven't had beer this light since I was downing pitchers at The Heidelberg in Columbia, Missouri. It really is the perfect addition to a day spent doing yard work in the hot sun or watching the smoker.

- Joia Soda. Made right here in Minneapolis, these four craft sodas are refreshing and vibrant, perfect for sipping while your feet hang out in a kiddy pool. Being all natural, they aren't the worst thing you could offer your kids. (Tip: they make great mixers for after the kids go to bed!)

- Banana Soft-Serve. I saw this making the rounds earlier in the summer and I honestly thought it was a bunch of hype. After eying a few bananas about to hit their prime I chunked them up, froze them solid, whirled them in the food processor, topped them with crumbled Reece's Peanut Butter Cups and I am here to tell you- it is AMAZING! No ice cream guilt. It's the perfect cheat. It stands up well to hot fudge. Or so I've heard.

- Iced Cafe au Lait made with Chicory coffee. I like my coffee iced with milk and sugar but sometimes (read: every time) it tends to get watered down as the ice melts. I am not a fan of watered down coffee. Enter chicory. It's super strong and holds up to milk (lots) and sugar (heaps) and ice (mountains) very well. I brew up a pot at night, throw it in the fridge and I am good to go when my three little men wake me up at the crack of dawn. My Starbucks field trips have been cut in half by the addition of an icy cold Cafe au Lait to my day.

- Air Conditioning. Sweet mother of God what were we thinking taking that window unit out? Nothing compares to crisp cool air blowing through a room. NOTHING. I'm guessing the humidity has finally gotten to me. I don't think I've been this miserable since I was carrying a 20 pound box of books across campus from the bookstore to my dorm my freshman year in college (The fact that my kids are the age of the current freshman class when I was a freshman is like an exclamation point on the phrase "Time Flies!")

So there it is. Cold drinks, faux ice cream and A/C. I should probably bite the bullet and enlist the hubs to reinstall that window unit. Or not. (Just think of the energy savings!)

So, how do you beat the heat? Are you hoping for a quick exit into fall or do you like a long drawn out summer?