Ann Marie DeGroot: What's this new sin called complicity?

A statement by the Catholic archbishop seems to target the families of lesbians and gays.

By ANN MARIE DEGROOT

Last update: December 18, 2007 - 6:51 PM

Last month the Catholic Spirit printed an article from Coadjutor Archbishop John Nienstedt about the church's teaching on homosexuality. While the Catholic Church has the legal right to teach what it believes to be true, the article has made a lot of Catholics and others angry.

As a person who has worked in the field of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered rights for more than 20 years, I've seen how this type of public rhetoric can negatively influence the way people think, talk and act around issues of justice. Words matter, especially when uttered by someone in the archbishop's unique position of authority.

I was raised in the Catholic faith and went to Catholic school for 12 years. I was taught by nuns -- a group of the smartest and most dedicated women you will ever find. They believed deeply in their faith and passed their commitment on to their students. I learned a lot of things in Catholic school and in church, but I never learned to turn my back on my family. In fact, I was taught to value my family and was told that it would be the constant in my life -- no matter what, it would always be there for me. And that's been true, both of my chosen family and my family of origin.

In this article we see nothing new -- homosexuality is immoral, hate the sin and love the sinner, don't give public platforms to those who oppose the church's teachings. Whether we agree or not, most of us know that this is the Catholic Church's current perspective.

But then we see this statement: "Those who actively encourage or promote homosexual acts or such activity with a homosexual lifestyle formally cooperate in grave evil and, if they do so knowingly and willingly, are guilty of mortal sin."

My goodness, does this mean that my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins are committing a mortal sin by allowing me, my partner and our son into their homes? They are supportive of our family -- you might even say encouraging. What does this mean about them?

What about the thousands of parents, children and family members who stand up for their children no matter what and love them, support them and speak up for them? In order to be good Catholics, must they now uninvite them to Christmas dinner to save their own souls? And how many other everyday acts of common charity become a "grave evil" and result in mortal sin? What a position to put people in!

Speaking from my own Catholic upbringing and my own life experience, and what I've seen as effective movement-building for justice over the last two decades, let me suggest this instead:

Cherish and support the people in your life. Value those around you and invite them in, whether or not you understand them or agree with them. You will be serving not only your particular family members but a higher ideal marked by openness, kindness and justice. And that action will prevail over any words that attempt to divide and diminish us.

At this time of the year, when we are called upon to remember the light that shines through the darkness, let's find that light and humanity in everyone and nurture it so that we can all be the best that we can be.

I also strive to find that light and humanity in everyone, even in the good archbishop.

Ann Marie DeGroot is executive director of OutFront Minnesota, a group that advocates equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people.

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