With kids' books Rush found his childish calling

  • Article by: FRANK CERABINO , Cox Newspapers
  • Updated: May 22, 2014 - 3:49 PM

Here's some more time-travel missions for 'Rush Revere'.

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Rush Limbaugh

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Rush Limbaugh became an award-winning children’s author this month.

This is a major career milestone for Limbaugh, and a shrewd refocusing of his efforts.

I’ve always felt that Limbaugh’s game fell short on an adult level, and so I applaud the new direction.

The Children’s Book Council, a national non-profit trade association, gave Limbaugh a Children’s Choice Book Award for Author of the Year last week for his time-traveling adventure, “Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims.”

Rush handily beat the field of lamestream children’s media nominees, including the winner of the past two years, Jeff Kinney, the author of the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series, and perennial children’s book superstars Rick Riordan, Rachel Rene Russell, and Veronica Roth, whose book “Divergent” has spawned the big-budget Hollywood movie of the same name.

The nominees were picked based on book sales, and the winner was decided by whoever received the most online votes.

And no, I don’t think this was some vast right-wing conspiracy. Just because Limbaugh had been touting his nomination to his adult listeners and on his website is no reason to believe that right-wing adults who hadn’t read his children’s book pretended to be kids voting for Limbaugh’s book.

I choose instead to believe that middle-school kids are irresistibly attracted to a story of a substitute history teacher named Rush Revere who travels in time through American history with his talking horse Liberty to deliver thematic messages that stress the value of individual achievement over collective efforts.

What teenager could resist that!

Yes, the childless Limbaugh is a genuine oracle for kids. And I can only hope that his forays into children’s books continue.

In fact, I think I can help. Here are some ideas I have for future installments in his “Rush Revere” American history adventures.

Title: “Rush Revere and the Suffragettes.”

Plot: Rush Revere and his trusty steed Liberty time travel to Rochester, New York, in 1872, where they they witness women’s rights activist Susan B. Anthony being arrested for trying to vote in an election.

Rush Revere tells Anthony to quit acting like a “Feminazi.”

Excerpt: “Take it from El Rushbo, sweetheart,” he said to Anthony, as Liberty snorted “Ditto” from his whiskery snout. “This voting nonsense for you gals will only lead our great nation on a road to ruin. What’s next? You’ll expect us men to put up with your birth control. So you can have sex all day! And then before you know it, we’ll be saying hello to President Hillary Clinton.”

Anthony eyed her strange visitor with alarm.

“You say you’re from the future,” Anthony told Rush Revere. “Yet your thinking is so rooted in the past.”

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