Your litter is right where you left it

  • Article by: TOM MOBECK
  • Updated: April 3, 2014 - 6:51 PM

Don’t think the rest of us don’t notice when you discard your “treasures” in the woods.

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I am typing this letter at the request of my dog because the voice recognition app doesn’t work very well on his tablet. A couple of months ago, he read with interest the article about the couple in California who found gold coins worth $10 million while walking their dog in the woods. He has been waiting for the follow-up article where the couple comes clean and admits that they didn’t really find the gold coins, their dog did. He thinks we can all agree that when treasure is found along the trail in the woods, it’s the dog, not the people, we have to thank.

He would offer his personal experiences to illustrate the point.

Having taken daily 3-mile walks over the last five years down the hill, through the park and into the woods, he has found: 2,500 candy and fast-food wrappers, 1,500 beer and pop cans, 500 empty cigarette packs, 250 middle school test papers with failing grades, 100 softballs, 50 baseballs, 30 tennis balls, 6 footballs, 4 bicycles, 3 wallets, 2 cameras, 1 26” TV, 1 $10 bill, 1 Playboy magazine, 1 bigfoot skull, 1 Ed Ames Christmas LP and 1 bag of cash. Granted, it was only $2.37 in pennies, nickels and dimes, but it was cash and it was in a bag.

His personal favorites, though, are the roughly 500 Starbucks, Caribou or McDonald’s coffee cups he has found strategically placed next to dog droppings. In the advertising world, this type of classic product association is known as the “Crapaccino.”

To date, he has allowed me to keep only one of the things he has found.

So, as the snow melts and the “treasures” come into bloom along the trails, my dog would like to remind everyone that they should not believe everything they read in the papers, whether it’s about people finding treasure or dogs writing letters to the editor.

But, more important, they should understand that when they travel along the trails, they will be remembered for what they leave behind.

 

Tom Mobeck lives in Chaska.

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