America needed a new hero.

A bloated, nauseated hero.

They found her. Her name is Caity Weaver, and her quest was simple:

Last Monday TGI Friday’s unveiled a new promotion (available at many TGI Friday’s locations, but none on the island of Manhattan) whereby customers can gorge themselves on unlimited appetizers—without fear of punishment, embarrassment, or ostracization—for a one-time payment of $10. The promotion is called “Endless Appetizers.”

The day after “Endless Appetizers” was announced, I went to TGI Friday’s in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay. I wanted to challenge the hubris of a company co-opting the infinite for a marketing gimmick. I wanted to demand accountability from copywriters.

I wanted to call their bluff and eat appetizers until they kicked me out, to seek the limit of this supposedly limitless publicity stunt.

I soon learned the limit does not exist.

You can imagine what happens next, but you really can’t. Please do go ahead and read her 14-hour mozzarella stick account. Language warning, as if eating apps for 14 hours wouldn’t cause you to swear, too.

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