Spring is often the most elusive season in Minnesota, but April 2013 has been especially cruel.
It’s not the cold. We can handle below-average temps with a few more layers. We know all about layers. It’s not the lack of sun, either. Vitamin D is available at the pharmacy, and too much sun causes all kinds of skin problems.
It’s the incessant weather talk. Without ear plugs, there’s no way to avoid commentary from virtually everyone you come in contact with. The coworker at the coffee machine. The bagger at the grocery store. The happy talkers on TV and radio. And, now, the editorial page.
Our excuse for adding to the problem is that we have a simple solution: Shut up about the weather, Minnesota.
That’s right, an Editorial Board dedicated to fostering debate is urging all Minnesotans to put a cork in the weather chatter until we record our first 2013 high temperature of at least 60 degrees.
If you have the urge, find the nearest wool sock and stuff it. If someone tries to engage you on the topic, stick an index finger in each ear (your own) and walk away. Or push the offender into the nearest pothole.
Take the pledge today: “I will refrain from discussing the stinking weather with anyone until the thermometer hits 60 somewhere in Minnesota.”
Some will criticize this advice, arguing that talking about our collective struggle is therapeutic. Don’t listen. We crossed the line separating therapy from whining early last week. The wallowing has to stop before we all need something stronger than vitamin D.
It will be challenging. We’re generally reserved people, and weather banter is a tool we use to avoid talking about our feelings. But keep the tool in the box, people.
We’ll join you in the effort. This will be the last editorial on the weather until the temperature hits 60. Promise.