– Want a loan? Advice? When an employee needs help, many small business owners are comfortable mixing the personal with the professional and willingly provide some support.

J. Colin Petersen has assisted staffers in a variety of ways: extra cash, lawyer recommendations, loaning a personal car, taking employees to doctor appointments and replacing a stolen smartphone. And, "just listening to the anxieties of any of my team members that need a sympathetic ear or advice about how to handle a problem."

Petersen, president of information technology company J I.T. Outsource, believes that if he helps his 12 full-time employees when they are wrestling with a problem, their performance — and in turn, his Fresno, Calif.-based company — will benefit.

Many small business owners take an interest in their employees because they want a friendly or even family-feeling atmosphere, unlike the ambience of a big corporation. They also want staffers to feel appreciated as people, not just as workers, and know that employees who are treated well are less likely to leave. But employment-law attorneys and human resources consultants advise owners to strike a balance — there can be unintended consequences when a boss is too friendly or too generous.

Nicole and Dennis Drake are mindful that the employees of their two Tropical Smoothie Cafe franchises are high school and college students who can use a little guidance about work and life. The couple asks staffers at the stores in Gainesville and Ashburn, Va., about school, what subjects they are taking, how they are doing. Nicole Drake, who describes herself as a math nerd, offers help with homework and makes sure that working at the stores doesn't interfere with school assignments.

"This job is not your last stop, so there's no way your grades should suffer," she told her young staffers. And when they are ready to move on, she lends a hand with resumes. The Drakes also have helped with extracurricular activities, including fundraising in memory of a young woman who killed herself who had been a friend of one employee.

"When you've got a team, you want to do what's right," Nicole Drake said.

Owners need to be sure that their compassion, especially if it comes in the form of loans, gifts or other benefits, is available to all staffers. Showing favoritism can make an owner liable if an employee who felt discriminated against sues the company.

Employers should also have objective criteria they follow when they are offering help, said Nannina Angioni, an employment-law attorney with Kaedian LLP in Los Angeles. For example, if they are willing to lend money for medical bills, they can't decide to offer it for one kind of illness but not another.

Owners need to create a balance, said Jay Starkman, CEO of human resources provider Engage PEO, based in Hollywood, Fla.

"While you want to be approachable, you want to create a collegial atmosphere," Starkman said. He suggested that if employees come into the owner's office and start to unburden themselves, the boss can listen, but set a time limit. And if staffers seem to need advice or support, connect them with an employee assistance program for free counseling.

But always act humanely: "You don't want your place of employment to become this sterile, nobody-can-talk-to-each-other, horrible place to be," Starkman said.

The staffers at Samantha Martin's public relations firm tend to be young people newly arrived in New York who find they have big bills to pay and don't have family nearby. So she has loaned employees money to get an apartment or pay for dental work, and given others advice about personal problems. She can't afford big corporate benefits, but these are things she can do.

"As a boutique firm, we become family," said Martin, CEO of Media Maison with 14 staffers. "It has made a huge difference — my employees are loyal, they trust me, they treat my business like it's theirs."

At the same time, Martin sets boundaries: "I'm not their best friend and I'm not trying to be."