War on milfoil gets a sexy old look

Lake conservationists will appreciate what Ms. Milfoil does for bodies of water.

Eurasian water milfoil, the invasive scourge taking over lakes and displacing native species, is being personified as a pinup girl as part of lake lover Winston Hewett's campaign to raise funds for Wildlife Forever.

As director of development for Jeremiah Program, a residential facility that supports young mothers and their children, Hewett already has a job in the nonprofit sector. "At some point this will be my job," said Hewett, whose concept includes a cast of characters such as Ms. Zebra Mussel, Big Head Carp, Silver Carp, Bob Lake and Conservation Officer Rod Handle.

"The way they reproduce, almost kind of silently, was funny to me. And then I looked at a lot of the imagery and messaging coming from the DNR -- this boat and on its propeller would be a bunch of milfoil," said Hewett. "When you pair that with a pinup girl, it becomes very funny. Frankly, with this economy we all need to start laughing again."

Doug Grann, prez and CEO of Wildlife Forever, said: "We were thrilled when she came and showed us her lineup of 1950 retro pinup girls. Some people are a little taken aback. Bikini girls? Yet when we had T-shirts at a breakfast I hosted for all the state directors of all 50 states, not one them left the shirts behind."

In a speech six years ago, Grann said, he told his audience: "'The problem with invasive species is they're not sexy. No one cares.' Well, Winston found a way to make them sexy and people are paying attention."

Some say the group's outreach efforts have been preaching to the choir of boaters and anglers instead of recreational water users, whom Grann views as the next generation of waterway stewards.

Hewett's campaign is aimed at them.

"Winston learned about [the outreach campaign] and she came up with Ms. Milfoil, Ms. Zebra Mussel and wanted to give us a dollar for every shirt she sold."

In March Hewett gave $800 to Wildlife Forever and Grann was impressed. "For a young entrepreneur, a woman financing her own business with her own money, I was amazed," said Grann. "She's one of the most creative minds I've met in a long time."

Noting that billboard reminders to "clean, drain and dry" boats are rather staid, he said, "You take a double-look when Ms. Milfoil tells you to clean up your act."

Hewett said, "We are going to make this the quintessential lake-wear line. Think about Tommy Bahama and the island wear." (Her T-shirts will be sold at the High Heel Dash from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Aug. 11 on Minneapolis' Peavey Plaza.)

"Our mission is to turn everybody into walking conservation billboards," said Hewett. "I am working with an agency to develop sunscreen, a swimsuit line, beach towels. We'll have boat flags."

Finally, a legitimate use of the pinup girl that's not cheesy.

Debra's a hot mama?Debra Humphries better be breathtaking at her son Kris' Aug. 20 wedding to Kim Kardashian.

No one should upstage the bride on her (second) big day. But when your son tells TMZ that a beauty like Kardashian is the second most beautiful girl in the world after "my Mom," Mother better be a one hot mama when the TV cameras are rolling for a special.

I've been looking for photos of Debra since Kris said Mom's pulchritude surpassed the bride's.

Although Mom is an attractive enough woman, and better-looking than the only picture I had permission to use, Kris' proclamation still merits a Really now?

Don't most mature adults come to terms with the fact that their parents are not the most beautiful people in the world?

"Wow. That is a bad one," said TMZ's creator and anchor Harvey Levin said, reacting to the video clip.

To his credit Kris made the verbal gaffe while Kim was walking beside him.

Kris' dad, Will Humphries, chuckled Wednesday when I told him why I was calling to talk to Debra, who has not returned my call. By the way, to my eyes Will (and this doesn't mitigate his seeming to be a LOT of work) is much better-looking than his son or Kris' future father-in-law Bruce Jenner.

More tennis, less TwitterBryant McKinnie told TMZ that tough tennis workouts with Venus and Serena Williams got him in shape for the new football season.

The Vikings released McKinnie Tuesday after he racked up big weight and cholesterol numbers.

Do I believe McKinnie, one of those athletes who may mature years after his career is over, was working that hard on high-intensity drills, balance, footwork and acceleration? Nah.

Saying you're working out with V&S was smart. Also, a lot more wholesome than much of the stuff on McKinnie's Twitter account, which has largely been dormant since his mispunctuated "Its been fun" post Tuesday.

As I wrote in February when TMZ reported that McKinnie dropped $100,000 on champagne at an L.A. nightclub, he was testing new coach Leslie Frazier's boundaries. Now we know for sure that Frazier runs a tight ship that's not likely to include crewmen who'd have even thought about being caught on a "Love Boat."

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.