The Sports Hernia finds what we consider one of the funniest failed corporate sports tie-ins in, well, a long time.

Would you like to ask New York Mets third base coach Razor Shines some questions? Go ahead and shoot. Really, anything. He's your Aquafina "3rd Base Coach of Life," after all.

We can't guarantee the answers will match the questions. In fact, Razor will likely taunt you with such ridiculous expressions as "These answers won't question themselves" until you ask him something.

So we finally typed in a question. The first one that came into our head, naturally: "Is that what she said?"

Razor's answer was clearly puzzling.

"Stick a forkball in it. Absolutely not."

So we asked again.

"It's a fastball count! Swing for the fences."

Um. One more try?

"My scouts are saying ... yes."

Finally!

You're going to want to spend a while playing with this ...

We're heading home soon to check on things in south Minneapolis. Things got a little nasty out there.