The Kevin Love for Andrew Wiggins trade is still two weeks away from even possibly happening, and already a writer in Toronto has loaded up the hottest of hot sports takes: He sees this trade as a boon to Toronto, which will surely be able to pry native son Wiggins away from cold, desolate Minnesota in the future.

No, really, this is an actual thing:

No one from the organization can or will talk about the potential impact of Wiggins and fellow Toronto-born No.1-overall pick Anthony Bennett being traded to the Minnesota Timberwolves in a deal that will send Kevin Love to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Even Drake wouldn't want to pay those fines. … Who knows what getting Wiggins out of Cleveland would have been like after he'd been to the NBA mountaintop alongside LeBron James? Getting Wiggins out of Minnesota first chance? Easy as pie.

Do tell, sir!

The soonest that Wiggins could begin to make noises about leaving Minneapolis would be in the summer of 2017, which is the earliest he can be offered an extension on his rookie scale contract. If he begins to balk then, it would likely kick-off a lengthy auction for what will hopefully be an emerging NBA star at that point. If he takes the safe route and signs an extension he's likely in Minnesota until 2021.

But for all the restrictions on player movement in the NBA, history has shown that when a player really wants out of one place and has a preferred destination in mind, things tend to get done.

And why would Wiggins want to go to Toronto, a team that can match the Wolves' on-court futility brick-for-brick? Well, it's not just that he's from Toronto. It's that MINNESOTA IS COLD AND LAME.

Whee!

When NBA free agents come up with their list of things they're looking for as a potential destination, the Timberwolves have none of them. Weather? Minneapolis is the coldest major city in the United States. Its average December-to-February temperature is 18 F, or -8 C. That's average. Even last winter, during the Polar Vortex, Toronto's average temperature was -3.3 C. Typically, Toronto winters come in at a balmy 0 C. … It's got one of the highest state income tax rates, and as for culture? Well, Fargo was filmed and set in Minnesota. So was Grumpy Old Men. And The Mighty Ducks. You get the picture.

A cold sports city take is about as hot as a sports take can get, but doubling down on the flamethrower with a Fargo reference? BRAVO!

Listen: We've been to Toronto. It's a great city. One of our favo(u)rites. But so is Minneapolis.

Plotting a move from one freezing, basketball wasteland to another in three OR POSSIBLY SEVEN years when nobody knows anything about how either team or conference will look then? It might make for good theater, but it's the theater of the absurd.