The increasing scrutiny and awareness about the use of Photoshop in depicting girls and women, particularly tween and teen girls, brings to the surface an undeniable dichotomy that is making a real mess of us:
Altered images of girls and women (and men, too) depicting bodies shapes that are unattainable and unhealthy used to sell everything from bikinis to lipgloss, juxtaposed against the historic trend that has shifted the American diet toward highly processed foods with high sugar, fat and salt content.
The result – pictures of skinny young women made even skinnier with Photoshop, presented to an increasingly overweight and under-exercised population.
A video showing the transforming effect airbrushing has on a picture of a young blonde woman illustrates how this process works. (Interestingly, when I saw the video today on YouTube, the commercial preceding the video was for Jergens BB Body Perfecting Body Cream that, among other things, firms and “corrects” imperfections.)
If you haven’t seen the video yet, watch it. It’s illuminating and instructive – images of teen girls and women in advertisements and magazines covers are simply not real. They are false depictions and can be rejected as the standard to which girls and women aspire.
Of course, this video and the recent Target Photoshop story will not change what is real—that images and messages of “perfection” coupled with unsustainable diets, lifestyles and stress levels are pulling people, especially our young, in two contradictory directions.
These two diverging realities, however, may be inching a little closer together, for the benefit of everyone.
In January, American Apparel elected not to use Photoshop on its recent Aerie lingerie campaign. This is a small step in the right direction, and it would be nice to see a growing trend of retailers presenting clothes on unaltered models. If the merchandise is any good, it should stand on it’s own and not require alterations to the models wearing it.
On February 27, the FDA proposed updates to nutrition labels on food packages that would highlight calories, serving sizes and added sugars. This will create better, faster access to information about food, helping families make better dietary choices.
The question remains, how to counteract the latent negative messaging in these images? Answer: Offer your own messages.
One thing we’ve learned from the Target Photoshop story is the pursuit of "perfection" comes at a cost. It certainly has cost Target (and Target has paid more because of proximity to the data breach).
But the cost is most grave for girls and women (and men, too) who struggle physically, mentally and emotionally with making sense of these opposing messages.
For many years, Great Clips CEO Rhoda Olsen followed the business advice of her big sister, a successful, trail blazing, whip-smart lawyer in New York City: Don’t wear pants, don’t have coffee with secretaries, and don’t learn how to type.
But last week, at the National Association of Women Business Owners (MN Chapter) Annual Awards Luncheon in Minneapolis, Olsen acknowledged this advice was somewhat limiting. Despite this, Olsen claims she has become the fastest two-fingered typist she knows.
Olsen’s address was impactful because of both what she said and how she said it: she didn’t offer soft, feel-good, clichéd advice nor did she sugar coat. Honest, forthright and even swearing at times, Olsen opened up, and was authentic on all things personal and business. In doing so, she proved to a packed-to-the-gills ballroom at Graves 601 that unleashing the rough, hardened and gritty parts of ourselves can be immensely powerful, stirring and motivating.
Olsen shared personal glimpses into her life as a child with an alcoholic parent. She called motherhood “humbling, horrifying and gratifying,” and delved into the challenge of raising her three boys (only “one was good”). She told of how she once winced at a colleague’s proclamation that he worked out 2 hours a day (Olsen: “TWO hours?! Imagine what you could get done in TWO hours – 4 loads of laundry” among a list of 15 other things). Yet today, Olsen acknowledges that taking care of our bodies is the ultimate confidence builder. A cancer survivor, her body is strong again – she does 200 pushups a day (and even beat a man in a pushup contest, topping him at 211).
Weaving together personal anecdotes and candid observations on business, Olsen’s advice was applicable to not just women business owners, but to men, hopeful entrepreneurs, college students, and everyone in between.
Put aside notions of balance. Work/life “balance” is a hot topic these days, and Olsen boiled it down to this: “Things are going to be unbalanced.”
She shared the story of how she helped one of her sons with algebra from the office. She would receive a fax from her son with the algebra problem, write out the problem showing how to solve it, and fax it back home. Though she wasn’t home helping, she was helping.
Olsen’s advice is liberating. It lessens the pressure that things should be balanced (for women and men alike), and replaces it with permission to pursue a life that is often imbalanced.
Expect of range of feelings. Olsen admitted: “Some days I wake up and I say ‘Move over Obama, I’m ready to talk on the world.’ Other days, I feel like I don’t have the foggiest idea what I’m doing.”
The range of emotions adds drama to the workplace, especially in hair salons, says Olsen, where salon owners and stylists are dramatic and emotional by nature – they are dealing with the highly emotional topic of hair, after all. Olsen said with so many women in the workplace now, she believes the day has come where it’s really okay to talk about emotions.
The ups and downs of business are as real as the sky is blue. There are no constants, and so too with how people feel about their work and who they are as professionals. Strong sales growth this quarter, not looking so good for next. Gave a great presentation this week, next month’s presentation has you paralyzed. Nailed the job interview, someone else got the job. The full spectrum is part of the territory. Woman or man, everyone has emotions, and those emotions change.
Don’t get defensive. For Olsen, her ability to get things done is determined by whether she gets defensive. She warns not to take things personally: “Stay calm and keep your mouth shut. Ask for and accept feedback. Learn and grow.”
Olsen admitted to the occasional inclination to get defensive. To manage this during a particular meeting in which she suspected she’d become defensive, she solicited the help of colleague who was to lift his hand discretely every time Olsen went on the defense. Sure enough, he waved at her twice. This kept her moving forward using non-defensive tactics in an otherwise challenging meeting.
Defensiveness is instinctual and critical to self-preservation. In the professional world, however, it is usually counterproductive. It looks bad, sounds bad and limits the ability to overcome the challenge at hand. Not getting defensive, though, is easier said than done. In that case, follow Olsen’s lead -- find a way to accept the criticism (constructive or otherwise), learn from it, and keep moving forward to accomplish your objectives.
Olsen closed with this final piece of advice: “Learn to listen. Listening is the most underrated skill in the world.”
And isn't that the truth? Listening is something they begin teaching in preschool, and something most every successful business person must re-learn every day.
Follow Stacy: @stacybettison
As our MEA weekend drew nearer, I became less and less excited about our plans to get away: drive 5 hours with our three young children to the Michigan Porcupine Mountains, where we would hike one mile into the woods to camp in a “rustic” cabin, (i.e., no running water, no electricity) with a forecast predicting rain, snow and temperatures in the low 40s.
Spending the next few days cold, unshowered, and using an outhouse was losing its appeal -- fast.
Camping, something I’ve done a lot since childhood, felt more like been-there-done-that than what it used to feel like -- a fun opportunity to experience nature and “rough it” for a few days. Camping just felt less fun and, honestly, even, dare I say, not fun.
My kids think it’s great because they get to be like “Little House on the Prairie.” As for my husband, he goes fishing – enough said.
Throughout the long weekend, however, I began to see the benefits of camping in a new light:
Learning to be bored. Ask any mother how often she is bored and here’s betting most don’t even know what the word means. When my kids lament “I’m bored,” I bristle with envy – I haven’t felt bored in years.
Once we hiked the one mile to our cabin, got unpacked and settled in, I asked, “What’s next?!” I felt the urge to fix something, be productive, send some emails, start a cause. Sitting around the cabin, letting the afternoon pass seemed like such a waste.
So many of us go, go, go, work, work, work all the time. It’s how we get ahead, be successful. It’s our toil and can make us very happy. Being bored, as uncomfortable as it is initially, can eventually turn into relaxation. Research suggests that boredom is good for our bodies, our creativity and our psyche.
I seriously doubt my boredom was really ever true boredom – it was me winding down, letting go just a little and starting to relax.
Unconnected, but connecting. With no cellular service, we had little use for the devices to which we all, admittedly, are addicted (even our littlest has become quite adept at PBSKids.org). My oldest daughter made substantial progress on a book, and my younger children were left with little to do but play “worms” with their sleeping bags.
As for our family, we played the card games that are long forgotten in our daily lives. We sat close, and the kids learned strategy, math and vocabulary the old school way.
I know we aren’t the only family that struggles with how to manage screen time, find meaningful ways to connect, and genuinely enjoy each other. And after this weekend, it became clear to me that camping was the very reason we were able to disconnect, and thereby reconnect, so easily.
Meeting the weather where it is. Apparently I had to learn this lesson again, and I did so this past weekend: the best way to cope with annoying weather (which we can all agree we have plenty of in the Midwest) is two-fold: get out in it and then come in from it.
Getting out has always helped me deal better with bad weather, because, let’s face it, resistance is futile. The fastest way to succumb to the weather is to go outside – so I hit the trail for a hike. Within 2 minutes, I was warm and the weather bothered me not at all.
While it’s not always easy or realistic to get outside and embrace our frigid, windy, dark days, putting on a warm jacket, good hat, gloves and boots and getting outside whenever possible can truly mitigate the deleterious effects of bad weather. For those that experience severe seasonal affective light disorder, there are several ways to cope with the 6 months ahead, and being outdoors is a recognized method.
Let’s be honest – our weekend of camping wasn’t always perfect. It down poured every time my husband went fishing, and he eventually came down with not just a “man cold,” but a real cold.
At times, as will happen, the kids fought and didn’t listen. Then, they eventually bastardized an otherwise wholesome game of Mad Libs with words like “butt,” “buttcheek,” “armpit.” That really cracked them up, and they turned silly and obnoxious beyond measure. In turn, I kicked them out of the cabin to have a “time out” in the dark, cold night (which they thought was great fun).
For my part, I’ve been thinking about the next time we will go camping, and have even suggested another cabin experience once the snow flies. I suppose you could even say I look forward to camping again.
Every race finish felt like my heart stopped beating and the earth stopped spinning, for just that little moment. The moment the first nose crossed the line.
All photos copyright EQUUS Lifestyle/Brady Willette.