I can't wait to hear the barrage of comments from this post! As I was sitting here this morning knowing I haven't written in a long time for the Star Tribune and I have also slowed in my writing on my other blogs a thought came to me. "Am I losing my creativity due to me being on Ritalin for my ADD?"

Oh yes, the woman who has always been outspoken against putting children on drugs for ADD/ADHD and Autism, yes I AM on Ritalin, or the generic version of it. I started it about 6 weeks ago because I thought I was going to be homeschooling my son and knew I needed some organization and focus to be able to do a good job at it. I ended up not homeschooling my son and keeping him at his current school but, continued on my drugs.

As my house is staying cleaner longer, my laundry is getting done better/faster, and my moods are a lot more even with less freakouts I have noticed something too. I often have nothing in my brain. OK, for those of you who don't like my writing, I just gave you an open door with that one! But really, my mind is almost TOO clear. My daydreaming, my conversations with myself in my mind, my working through entire situations 10 times before actually doing something are all gone. It was often those very conversations, thoughts, daydreams, and moods that sparked my interest in writing blogs in the first place and now they are gone. My writing has become often forced and very challenging. I often find myself struggling to find my humor, my wild ideas/thoughts, my 'spark' I felt I had when I was writing before. Is this happening to our youth too? If so, I think this outspoken mom just found another reason to NOT give our children drugs!

Are we crushing what little creativity our children are allowed to have left by 'clearing' their minds so they can focus in school? This concerns me a lot! I already feel we are trying to raise non-touching, non-feeling, non-thinking for themselves robots and now are we losing our future writers, artists, dreamers, movie makers, actors, etc due to our need for our children to sit silently for up to 6 hours a day 5 days a week?

Hey, I am sure there are children that truly benefit from being on drugs, I do believe that. The jury is still out on if I benefit from it as I often have shaky hands while typing(have those right now and another reason I don't write as often as it is annoying!), I often feel 'boring' and think sometimes I am TOO calm! I do feel better on it sometimes as I feel I fit into society better and I don't feel as childish around other adults but, wasn't that sometimes my charm too and was some of that just my personality or was it the ADD keeping me from being the person I am supposed to be? I don't know, I am almost 38 years old, and have survived through life pretty well so far! I am married, have 4 children and a lot of friends, so I can't be THAT difficult to be around not on drugs.

I worry about our future generations, I really worry about our children. I love children so much and I want them to all have the best in life, as a mom it breaks my heart when I see children of any age struggle. But, I have to wonder, how much are they really struggling and how much is the parents/teachers perceived struggles those children are facing? If you have a child on drugs for whatever reason, have you noticed a change in their creative spirit too? Just wondering because I can't believe I am the only one that seems to have lost my 'edge'.